Author Topic: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!  (Read 106946 times)

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Offline Jay

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SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
« on: July 02, 2006, 02:13:56 AM »
Do you have any skeptically minded sayings or quotes that you think are really funny and or witty?  Post them here and on an upcoming show we will pick one or more of your submissions and award the winner with something...I don’t know...maybe a date with Rebecca or a meat based meal with Perry.  

Why are we doing this??  Because we want to put the best of your entries on merchandise like hats, shirts, mugs, laser guns, robots...well maybe not mugs but you get the idea.  If your entry gets selected you will also be so much cooler than everyone else here on the board so enter now...enter often.
I don't believe it. Prove it to me and I still won't believe it. - Ford Prefect  "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"

Offline Wonko the Sane

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« Reply #1 on: July 02, 2006, 02:57:49 AM »
they have to be origional right?
'd rather have questions I can't answer than answers I can't question.

"People in bamboo houses should not throw pandas" -Jesus

Offline ramboelmo

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« Reply #2 on: July 02, 2006, 09:37:29 AM »
Okay here are things I say alot and I am not sure these two quotes would make good slogans but here it goes.

the first is a fake quote well atleast to my knowledge:

"They believed me!" - Jesus Christ
Rich Ludwig, Hillsboro, WV

Second:
God hates me.
Rich Ludwig, Hillsboro, WV

It shows in everthing I do and most people feel the need to correct me when I say that. you could change it to The skepticsguide to the UNIVERSE... God hates us.

those are my first two I will post more later and though they are offensive they are still funny.

Offline JD

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« Reply #3 on: July 02, 2006, 12:50:54 PM »
"Eternal sin my ass, those apples look delicious."
  - First act of skepticism, according to the bible
roblem with the forum?  email me: leykial *at* yahoo *dot* com
Turn on, tune in, drop out, and shut the hell up, hippie.
"I'm a pretty good researcher ." - Neal Adams

Offline Jay

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« Reply #4 on: July 02, 2006, 02:20:05 PM »
No they dont have to be original.
I don't believe it. Prove it to me and I still won't believe it. - Ford Prefect  "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"

Offline sheila

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SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
« Reply #5 on: July 02, 2006, 02:48:06 PM »
I keep a collection of homemade screensavers with quotes I like.  Here are the ones short enough to fit on a t-shirt.

Reality is that which, when you cease to believe, continues to exist (don't know author)

Your god is too small (Phil Plait, speaking brilliantly at TAM4)

The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one (George Bernard Shaw)

Religions find miracles in gods
Scientists find miracles everywhere (don't know author)
Hoping to god on high is like clinging to straws while drowning - Dave Matthews
I heard they found a shark and it was full of thermite  - Rebecca Watson

Offline sheila

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« Reply #6 on: July 02, 2006, 02:49:37 PM »
Oops, funny or witty?  Well maybe the third one above.  The rest, not so much.
Hoping to god on high is like clinging to straws while drowning - Dave Matthews
I heard they found a shark and it was full of thermite  - Rebecca Watson

Offline Paulhoff

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« Reply #7 on: July 02, 2006, 08:28:07 PM »
I'm happy to say that in the whole universe only one planet, so far, has been infected with humans.

I fake pray; it keeps me from going up in smoke on the stake.

Faith is good, as long as you don’t spread it around.

Everyone is ignorance about something and can learn, excluding stupid people, who stay stupid no matter what you do.

If you are religious and tripped over reality, would you get up and go back and only kick it.

Is that intern or infirm, or did it become infirm after the intern.

Much worse than the Question not asked is the Answer not given.

Christianity, Years of fear.

With true free will there can be no punishment, with punishment there is no true free will.

The problem with common sense, it is not common enough.

Paul

 :D  :D  :D
color=blue]"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." Albert Einstein
Much worse than the Question not asked, is the Answer not Given. - mine
Never in the history of humankind, have so many, known so little, about so much.[/color]

Offline Paulhoff

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« Reply #8 on: July 02, 2006, 08:29:14 PM »
If a finch comes but once a year to a 10,000 foot high granite mountain to sharpen it's beak, the time it takes to wear it down to a grain of sand that will fit thru the eye of a needle, THAT'S IS ONE SECOND IN ETERNITY.
(Chris Rush)


Mr. Question Man, if the earth is shaped like a ball, why aren't people falling off.
Well, that is a common misconception; people are falling off all the time.
(Stolen and modified from Ernie Kovacs)

Paul

 :D  :D  :D
color=blue]"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." Albert Einstein
Much worse than the Question not asked, is the Answer not Given. - mine
Never in the history of humankind, have so many, known so little, about so much.[/color]

Offline Wonko the Sane

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« Reply #9 on: July 02, 2006, 08:58:50 PM »
If 50 million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.
- Anatole France

First they ignore science, then they laugh at science, then they fight science, then science wins.
- Mahatma Ghandi (Modified by me, changed "you" to "science"

An important scientific innovation rarely makes its way by gradually winning over and converting its opponents: it rarely happens that Saul becomes Paul. What does happen is that its opponents gradually die out and that the growing generation is familiarized with the idea from the beginning.
- Max Plank

The truth will set you free, but first it will probably piss you off.
- Anonymous

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has.
- Margaret Mead

In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted.
- Bertrand Russell

Aristotle maintained that women have fewer teeth than men; although he was twice married, it never occurred to him to verify this statement by examining his wives' mouths.
- Bertrand Russell

Conventional people are roused to fury by departure from convention, largely because they regard such departure as a criticism of themselves.
- Bertrand Russell

Men fear thought as they fear nothing else on earth, more than ruin, more even than death. Thought is subversive and revolutionary, destructive and terrible, thought is merciless to privilege, established institutions, and comfortable habit. Thought looks into the pit of hell and is not afraid. Thought is great and swift and free, the light of the world, and the chief glory of man.
- Bertrand Russell





These are not really skeptical quotes but I saw a few other religious ones

I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.
- Stephen Roberts

I have examined all the known superstitions of the world, and I do not find in our particular superstition of Christianity one redeeming feature. They are all alike founded on fables and mythology.
- Thomas Jefferson

So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence.
- Bertrand Russell

I find the whole business of religion profoundly interesting. But it does mystify me that otherwise intelligent people take it seriously.
- Douglas Adams

With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.
- Steven Weinberg
'd rather have questions I can't answer than answers I can't question.

"People in bamboo houses should not throw pandas" -Jesus

Offline kiwidust

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« Reply #10 on: July 03, 2006, 01:00:42 PM »
My wife does T-Shirt embroidery as a hobby.  We've started a list of such things for an eventual online shop - she's made me several.  None of these are "polished" (just a brainstormed list) and many would benefit from some tweaking... but if you can use them, be my guest.

We had considered a set of shirts that said "Skeptical American" on the front and different things on the back (the first is my favorite):

Never without a doubt.

Bunk. Hokum. Hooey.

Immune to Hauntings, Alien Abductions, Possession, Subluxation, and Bullshit.


I was also playing with a few "skeptical/atheist parent" ideas.  This one just REALLY pisses off the evangelicals (wear it where they're protesting gay marriage...):

My kids don't believe in God either.

or

My kids don't go to church either.

In the same vein but less antagonistic (and more optimistic I think):

My Kids ask "Why"?

or

My Kids Question.

or

My Kids Evolved.

Kind of long (you could replace the f-bomb with something less explosive)...

A priest, a minister and a politician walked into a bar... and fucked up my kid's science education.

Wishing for the rapture.  Maybe then my kids will get a decent science education.


And some others:

I'm Evolved enough to know I'm not Designed.

I'm a Damn Dirty Ape!

Just say "No" to Creationism.

One of these things is not like the other: School.  Evolution.  Religion.  Education.

I see the light!  And Darwin is holding the flashlight.

Keep your Faith out of My Classroom.

I grant you a "free, non-exclusive license into perpetuity" for any of these.  ;^)

Jim Davis


Jim Davis

Offline gost

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SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
« Reply #11 on: July 04, 2006, 03:47:51 PM »
Slogan ideas:
Spare me your logical fallacies!

I'm a skeptic . . .
and sometimes I even doubt THAT.

I'm a skeptic . . .
Sorry to annoy you with facts.

Skeptic: A person with faith in doubt and doubt in faith.

T-shirt ideas:
I am a transitional species.

I'm a skeptic, and no,
I'm not wearing any fallacies

Body Designed by Natural Selection.

Think of my body as Evolution in Action.

Mugs:
CAUTION: The temperature of this mug is carefully regulated by the laws of thermodynamics.

Famous quotes I like:
I don't believe in astrology; I'm a Sagittarius and we're skeptical.
-Arthur C. Clarke

I intend to leave after my death a large fund for the promotion of the peace idea, but I am skeptical as to its results.
-Alfred Nobel

Skeptical scrutiny is the means, in both science and religion, by which deep thoughts can be winnowed from deep nonsense.
-Carl Sagan

The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has limits.
-Albert Einstein

I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.
-Wilson Mizne

Learning without thinking is useless. Thinking without learning is dangerous.
-Kong Fuzi (Confucius)

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
-Albert Einstein

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
-Philip K. Dick

There are some people that if they don't know, you can't tell 'em.
- Louis Armstrong

What we need is not the will to believe but the will to find out.
- Bertrand Russell

You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
- Mark Twain

If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
-Albert Einstein

I can't see any farther.  Giants are standing on my shoulders!
- unknown

Advances are made by answering questions. Discoveries are made by questioning answers.
-Bernhard Haisch, astrophysicist

And finally, to sum it all up:
"A witty saying proves nothing."  - Voltaire

Offline Wonko the Sane

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« Reply #12 on: July 04, 2006, 03:55:33 PM »
Nice gost, I like the slogans and t shirt ideas
'd rather have questions I can't answer than answers I can't question.

"People in bamboo houses should not throw pandas" -Jesus

Offline cyborganics

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SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
« Reply #13 on: July 05, 2006, 02:51:05 AM »
Don't believe.
cientist: A man who knows nothing until there is nothing left to understand.

www.cyborganics.org

Offline Paulhoff

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« Reply #14 on: July 05, 2006, 03:19:16 PM »
Believing is not seeing.

Paul

 :D  :D  :D
color=blue]"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." Albert Einstein
Much worse than the Question not asked, is the Answer not Given. - mine
Never in the history of humankind, have so many, known so little, about so much.[/color]

 

personate-rain