General Discussions > Religion / Philosophy Talk

Protecting the Little Ones From God

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Karyn:
I think that means you just need to keep trying.  repeatedly.

Leslie 417:
I am so sorry for your loss.

When my son passed away I struggled with the same thing I think you are asking right now.

I got a lot of "God has a plan" type sympathy remarks. I am actually still kind of bothered by them.

Here is my faith rant:

Keep faith that there is no god who decided that you would be bad parents.

Keep faith that there was no higher power that felt like jerking your chain.

Keep faith that god didn't need an angel and the only way he could get one was to cause you pain.

Keep faith that your friends and family may not know what to say to you but are trying to comfort you the best that they know how. It's hollow to say that anyone knows what you are going through. Each loss is different. I may feel more sorry for you than someone who has lost there toddler b/c at least they got to spend time with them... you may feel more sorry for me or someone else who has lost there toddler for other reasons.

Keep faith in science... there are many people working on neonatle care and I'm sure you did every thing you could to ensure the health of your unborn children. Years ago a mother being RH- and a father who wasn't meant the child was doomed.

AND most importantly

Keep faith in yourselves.... sounds like you did everything right. DO NOT start second guessing yourselves. Do not let the "everything happens for a reason" mentality make you think that this actually happened for any kind of non biological, non scientific reason that you could have done anything about.

Again I'm sorry for your loss. I wish I could say something to make you feel better...

wastrel:

--- Quote from: Leslie 417 on Mar 18, 2009, 06:56:52 PM ---Again I'm sorry for your loss. I wish I could say something to make you feel better...

--- End quote ---

This is the heart of what people mean when they say the god shit.

They want to say something to bring comfort, and to them religion does that.

Skepdad:
My most sincere condolences on your loss.

I realize that this is not in any way nearly the same but I have a son who was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes and I had a long conversation with my mother, who is a life long hard core Christian. It ultimately boiled down to "God has a plan." at which point I had to physically restrain myself from crossing the table and punching her in the mouth. I mean I actually envisioned myself doing just that and asking her "Was that part of his plan". I didn't. I'm glad I didn't. I have thought about it many times after the fact and I realized that this was her way of handling the same grief and pain that I was feeling. To be honest I am sort of jealous of her because I don't have that to fall back upon. I grieve every day and, at the same time, I "count our blessings" if you will forgive the saying. The bottom line is that these people mean you no harm. In fact they are trying to comfort you in the best way they know how. They are not trying to convert you so take it for what it is - their condolence.

JamesTate:
I'm sorry for you loss.

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