Topic: Grief without God is a challenge for nonbelievers

[AQB24712]

It's a poorly written headline, but it's the one USA Today used for the story.

When Rebecca Hensler's infant son died in 2009, she received numerous condolences from friends, colleagues and even total strangers she met online.

She knew their intentions were good, but their words weren't always helpful. And in the rawness of her grief, Hensler found some of them downright hurtful.

Hensler is an atheist, so when people described her three-month-old son Jude as being an angel, or part of God's plan, or "in a better place" than in his mother's arms, the pain sometimes overwhelmed her.

"[Atheists] don't think we are going to get to hold our children again," Hensler told a group of about 30 members of the East Bay Atheists, a monthly gathering of nontheists, where her descriptions of people's visions of her son as an angel drew a few gasps.

"We are facing an absolute loss, so when someone projects onto that the idea that we are going to be able to hold our children again or communicate with them, it is essentially dismissing the magnitude of that loss."

As the atheist community grows and matures, one thing people are looking for is a way to process grief and sorrow without the trappings — or support — of religious ritual and belief.

Rebecca Hensler also has a Facebook page called Grief Beyond Belief.  I like the tone

I don't remember hearing much, if any, of this when my father died, but I'm quite sure it happens. 

[Hanes]

Fortunetly I was out enough with my disbelief that I didn't catch any of that shit when my dad died.  There sure isn't any cure for grief.  You just have to accept that really, really shitty things go hand in hand with life.  And in Vonneguts words, "we are here to help each other get through this thing, whatever it is.” 

At least, that's my take on it.  You can always try to convince yourself that, actually, there isn't any reason for grief because Santa will soon reunite you at the North Pole, and there will be all the candy canes and toys you could ever want.

[quirk3k]

How nice. It's good see something like this.

After a loss, some people just say the dumbest things. FU, they are not in a better place, they are not looking down on us, and it's not Gods will.