Topic: Mixed atheist/theist couples

[Skeptress]

This kind of thread makes me super angry.  You're all throwing around assumptions, generalities, and anecdotes. 

[Shadow Of A Doubt]

This kind of thread makes me super angry.  You're all throwing around assumptions, generalities, and anecdotes. 

What is wrong with that?

[jomike]

But the short answer is, yeah, according to them they are happier.

Reasonable Doubts has talked about research in psychology of religion according to which strength of conviction and belonging to a group that affirms that identity is what predicts happiness, not the content of the beliefs, with moderate believers the least happy, presumably because of concerns about not living up to the demands of the religion, while fundamentalists and other extreme believers are convinced they are among the few righteous, and people firm in their atheism tend not to come across serious challenges to their positions.

http://doubtreligion.blogspot.com/2009/02/episode-32-profiles-of-godless.html

According to Doctor Professor Galen, the research suggests that those who're happiest are those who feel the most secure in their belief (or nonbelief, as the case may be).  The wishy-washy in the middle are comparatively less happy.  If that's the case, a marriage comprising a firm believer and a firm non-believer ought to work, assuming neither partner is bent on proselytizing the other.  They have no reason to fight 'cause they both know that they're right.

So for a childless couple, no sweat, maybe.  Skeptress nails the real potential headache:

I think having kids makes a huge problem.

Because when the kiddos arrive one partner must accede to the other as to which set of baseline beliefs they will inculcate.

[Kwisatz Haderach]

This kind of thread makes me super angry.  You're all throwing around assumptions, generalities, and anecdotes. 

I hope my anecdotes did not upset you.  I did not try to present them as anything other than my on experience.  It is very difficult to discuss subjective topics in a skeptical forum, and the tendency of may skeptics -- especially young ones -- is to try to reduce every question to objective facts that can be accepted or rejected.  Unfortunately, relationships and religion are two areas in which objective facts play only an ancillary role.

[worldslaziestbusker]

This kind of thread makes me super angry.  You're all throwing around assumptions, generalities, and anecdotes. 

I hope my anecdotes did not upset you.  I did not try to present them as anything other than my on experience.  It is very difficult to discuss subjective topics in a skeptical forum, and the tendency of may skeptics -- especially young ones -- is to try to reduce every question to objective facts that can be accepted or rejected.

You are making sweeping generalisations about the motivations of people who are, to other forum users, lines of text on a screen.  It's very dicey to try that, even for people you know very well.  All you can do is react.  Are you trying to get around problems by attempting to discredit the motives of those who have them?  Unless you have a quantified correlation showing a strong positive relationship between age and correctness, the mention of the alleged problem being a trap for young skeptics is especially patronising.

Unfortunately, relationships and religion are two areas in which objective facts play only an ancillary role.

Are you stating that the way facts are treated regarding these matters is inconsistent with the way they are treated in other areas or are you stating that facts are categorically less important than other considerations in matters regarding relationships and religion?  In either case, could you please explain how this is the case without attempting to put words into my mouth or motives into my life?

[Plastique]

I'm not claiming that the consequences of a belief have bearing on the truth of a claim.  I claim that it doesn't.  I think the argument from final consequences is, in fact, fallacious.  What I am saying is that if an action (like having a particular belief) leads to a desired outcome then that action is a rational one to take.

That's fine, but I'm more concerned with the claims themselves. To me the truth matters, I don't really think it's okay to believe anything just because the result might be able to be construed as positive by someone.

[Skeptress]

Thank you for posting the video Drewish. Now I shall weep.

[Desert Fox]

According to Doctor Professor Galen, the research suggests that those who're happiest are those who feel the most secure in their belief (or nonbelief, as the case may be).  The wishy-washy in the middle are comparatively less happy.  If that's the case, a marriage comprising a firm believer and a firm non-believer ought to work, assuming neither partner is bent on proselytizing the other.  They have no reason to fight 'cause they both know that they're right.

According to the latest "Godless Bitches", Utah and Mormon housewives are among the most frequent users of anti-depressants in the country. In addition, Jerry Dewitt in teh same show talked about similar problems with women in the Pentecostal movement.

[cole]

My wife is a Lutheran (I call her a lapsed Lutheran cuz she is Lutheran in name only lol), I am an atheist. 

It causes us zero problems.  I like certain "religious"-type ornaments in my house for their ascetic value, we celebrate secularized Christmas and Easter, and we don't go to church.  My wife did get pretty butt-hurt when I objected to my son getting baptized because "he doesn't have a soul."  She didn't take that one too well LOL.

I later recanted and said he can get baptized if it will make her feel better but I don't want him indoctrinated into anything until he is old enough to look for answers himself.

[Kwisatz Haderach]

My wife is a Lutheran (I call her a lapsed Lutheran cuz she is Lutheran in name only lol), I am an atheist. 

It causes us zero problems.  I like certain "religious"-type ornaments in my house for their ascetic value, we celebrate secularized Christmas and Easter, and we don't go to church.  My wife did get pretty butt-hurt when I objected to my son getting baptized because "he doesn't have a soul."  She didn't take that one too well LOL.

I later recanted and said he can get baptized if it will make her feel better but I don't want him indoctrinated into anything until he is old enough to look for answers himself.

I had an atheist father and a Lutheran mother.  I was baptized as an infant and "indoctrinated" at church from an early age, and my father taught me how to look for answers for myself from the same early age.  He actually taught me more about the Bible -- from a historical and literary perspective -- than I ever learned at church.

[Plastique]

I like certain "religious"-type ornaments in my house for their ascetic value

Hmm. Trying to work out how ornaments could be ascetic.

[drwfishesman]

fiance is Catholic, I'm an atheist we've been together seven years. I works and we are both very happy.

[James]

This kind of thread makes me super angry.  You're all throwing around assumptions, generalities, and anecdotes. 

Agreed.  It seems like a good thread for all the non-skeptics of the forum to hang out