If nothing else, and if it's as easy as editing a little html, fix that "yo" at the end of the second paragraph. That made me cringe. other than that I didn't think it was too bad. maybe because it's more laid back in it's description of the situation, that puts you ill at ease, since usually you'll get something much more "clinical" as a stop page. I would think 99% of the time it's getting shown to a robot that doesn't know what it "says" anyway.