Author Topic: Dale Carnegie - How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936)  (Read 1382 times)

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Offline Hanes

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Dale Carnegie - How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936)
« on: September 22, 2008, 01:56:30 am »
How to Win Friends and Influence People

I was given this book in audio format, and listened to most all of it on my drive home this weekend.

What a wonderful listen.  Ten minutes into the book and it had already positively impacted my social relations.

The worst part about it is how true it is.  The section on "Twelve Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking" was thoroughly depressing.  However, it is far better to grasp the universe as it really is than to persist in ignorance, however satisfying.  People hold on to their beliefs because they are theirs, and to take that from them is no easier than taking a limb.

His first piece of advice on winning people to your way of thinking is avoid arguments.  His evidence is clearly laid out, and I have no personal experience to bring against it.  I still believe public debate is a good thing, as it is more for the benefit of the observant, third party than it is for the debaters.  My approach in dealing with TBs 1v1, though, has been completely shaken.

The very fact that it has been stirred contradicts his point, that people don't respond well to logic and reason when their beliefs are on the line, as my beliefs have been altered through logic and reason.  However this belies the point he's making.  What is true for an individual isn't necessarily true for most people.


I strongly suggest it.  Audio book format is great for this one.

Offline spiney

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Re: Dale Carnegie - How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936)
« Reply #1 on: September 23, 2008, 01:52:05 pm »
A time honoured classic, but i've mixed feelings about it. Very old fashioned view of "interpersonal skills.

It's interesting to look at how the book came about. I like this bit:

"Perhaps one of Carnegie’s most successful marketing moves was to change the spelling of his last name from “Carnegey” to Carnegie, at a time when unrelated Andrew Carnegie was a widely revered and recognized name. By 1916, Dale was able to rent Carnegie Hall itself for a lecture to a packed house".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dale_Carnegie

Far more realistic, I would have thought, is Machiavelli:

http://www.powerhomebiz.com/Success/bookreview.htm

http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/n/niccolo_machiavelli.html

http://publicliterature.org/books/the_prince/xaa.php



« Last Edit: September 23, 2008, 01:53:40 pm by spiney »

Offline MikeSmith

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Re: Dale Carnegie - How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936)
« Reply #2 on: September 23, 2008, 10:19:02 pm »
I've read this a couple of times, and it is good in its way, but I felt it ultimately had a negative impact on me.  I stopped talking with people the way I wanted to talk, I never corrected really wrong people, and I ultimately became more timid of a speaker (at least for a while) because of it.

It's been so long since I last read it that I can't be much more specific than that.
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Offline Jim

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Re: Dale Carnegie - How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936)
« Reply #3 on: September 25, 2008, 10:25:05 am »
This is mentioned in steve salernos SHAM book, this was the start of the self help movement almost, a lot of it looks very reasonable but it just fails to deliver the goods in the long run. As critical thinkers we should look at the evidence and the evidence strongly suggests that long term changes in behaviour are very diffciult to come by.

it can never hurt however to think more about how we interact with others, but these interactions tend to be vastly complex, and so simple strategies on their own are not likely to be all that is needed. but if the book adds to your range of possible strategies it would be worth reading.
Jim

Offline Hanes

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Re: Dale Carnegie - How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936)
« Reply #4 on: September 25, 2008, 12:13:47 pm »
The simple things he suggests are the foundations of complex interpersonal relationships.

The book is "How to Win Friends and Influence People."  Surely the advice is not pertinent if those aren't your goals.