Author Topic: Joke Friday!  (Read 44826 times)

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Offline brilligtove

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Re: Joke Friday!
« Reply #375 on: August 16, 2018, 10:24:40 AM »
Grammar, syntax, and cynicism walk into a bar.

The bartender says, "What wouldn't it be?"

I know it isn't Friday, but if I don't post now I'll forget.
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Offline wastrel

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Re: Joke Friday!
« Reply #376 on: August 17, 2018, 03:50:47 PM »
Astronaut 1: I can't find any milk for my coffee.

Astronaut 2: In space, no one can.  Here, use cream.

Offline brilligtove

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Re: Joke Friday!
« Reply #377 on: August 17, 2018, 05:57:10 PM »
Astronaut 1: I can't find any milk for my coffee.

Astronaut 2: In space, no one can.  Here, use cream.

I think I died a little inside. Also, STOLEN.

ETA: I mean I'm stealing this.
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Offline wastrel

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Re: Joke Friday!
« Reply #378 on: August 17, 2018, 06:26:14 PM »
By all means, I ganked it from Twitter.

Offline wastrel

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Re: Joke Friday!
« Reply #379 on: September 12, 2018, 07:28:31 PM »
Why don't kleptomaniacs understand puns?



They take things literally. 

Offline Morvis13

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Re: Joke Friday!
« Reply #380 on: September 15, 2018, 09:33:57 PM »
Murphy's Law: Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
Morvis' Law: Anything that does go wrong is my fault.

Offline fred.slota

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Re: Joke Friday!
« Reply #381 on: September 28, 2018, 08:10:29 PM »
For your consideration on this, the jokiest of all Fridays, I give you...


   The Republicans on the Senate Judicial Committee.



Also, how can you tell if a pirate is a boy or a girl?   By the color of the booties.

Offline Paul Blevins Jr.

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Re: Joke Friday!
« Reply #382 on: October 12, 2018, 03:41:29 PM »
Astronaut 1: I can't find any milk for my coffee.

Astronaut 2: In space, no one can.  Here, use cream.

I think I died a little inside. Also, STOLEN.

ETA: I mean I'm stealing this.

Okay. Okay, feel free to call me stupid, but....I don't get it. It's obvious a pun off the tagline from ALIEN "In space no one can hear you scream" but I don't get it  beyond that. Why is there cream in space but not milk? Didn't astronauts have liquid milk on space missions? Is there something about milk and micro-gravity I'm ignorant about?

Sorry to be so stupid. Please educate me.

Offline CarbShark

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Re: Joke Friday!
« Reply #383 on: October 12, 2018, 04:24:36 PM »
Astronaut 1: I can't find any milk for my coffee.

Astronaut 2: In space, no one can.  Here, use cream.

I think I died a little inside. Also, STOLEN.

ETA: I mean I'm stealing this.

Okay. Okay, feel free to call me stupid, but....I don't get it. It's obvious a pun off the tagline from ALIEN "In space no one can hear you scream" but I don't get it  beyond that. Why is there cream in space but not milk? Didn't astronauts have liquid milk on space missions? Is there something about milk and micro-gravity I'm ignorant about?

Sorry to be so stupid. Please educate me.

It's a pun. Say the punchline out loud.
and Donald Trump is President of the United States.

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Offline Paul Blevins Jr.

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Re: Joke Friday!
« Reply #384 on: October 15, 2018, 03:42:51 PM »
Astronaut 1: I can't find any milk for my coffee.

Astronaut 2: In space, no one can.  Here, use cream.

I think I died a little inside. Also, STOLEN.

ETA: I mean I'm stealing this.

Okay. Okay, feel free to call me stupid, but....I don't get it. It's obvious a pun off the tagline from ALIEN "In space no one can hear you scream" but I don't get it  beyond that. Why is there cream in space but not milk? Didn't astronauts have liquid milk on space missions? Is there something about milk and micro-gravity I'm ignorant about?

Sorry to be so stupid. Please educate me.

It's a pun. Say the punchline out loud.

Yeah, I got the pun! Said so on my post. I just thought there was another level to it. I was way over-thinking it.

Offline arthwollipot

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Re: Joke Friday!
« Reply #385 on: October 17, 2018, 10:45:46 PM »
Astronaut 1: I can't find any milk for my coffee.

Astronaut 2: In space, no one can.  Here, use cream.

I think I died a little inside. Also, STOLEN.

ETA: I mean I'm stealing this.

Okay. Okay, feel free to call me stupid, but....I don't get it. It's obvious a pun off the tagline from ALIEN "In space no one can hear you scream" but I don't get it  beyond that. Why is there cream in space but not milk? Didn't astronauts have liquid milk on space missions? Is there something about milk and micro-gravity I'm ignorant about?

Sorry to be so stupid. Please educate me.

It's a pun. Say the punchline out loud.

Yeah, I got the pun! Said so on my post. I just thought there was another level to it. I was way over-thinking it.

No, there's no deeper level. Sometimes a pun is just a pun.
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Offline brilligtove

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Re: Joke Friday!
« Reply #386 on: October 18, 2018, 12:51:32 AM »
Astronaut 1: I can't find any milk for my coffee.

Astronaut 2: In space, no one can.  Here, use cream.

I think I died a little inside. Also, STOLEN.

ETA: I mean I'm stealing this.

Okay. Okay, feel free to call me stupid, but....I don't get it. It's obvious a pun off the tagline from ALIEN "In space no one can hear you scream" but I don't get it  beyond that. Why is there cream in space but not milk? Didn't astronauts have liquid milk on space missions? Is there something about milk and micro-gravity I'm ignorant about?

Sorry to be so stupid. Please educate me.

It's a pun. Say the punchline out loud.

Yeah, I got the pun! Said so on my post. I just thought there was another level to it. I was way over-thinking it.

No, there's no deeper level. Sometimes a pun is just a pun.

This is supposed to be a joke thread. Haven't we all been

punished

enough?

/runs for cover

/throws chaff

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I dunno, but the flag is a big plus.

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They make up everything.
evidence trumps experience | performance over perfection | responsibility – authority = scapegoat | emotions motivate; data doesn't

Offline arthwollipot

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Re: Joke Friday!
« Reply #387 on: October 18, 2018, 02:55:21 AM »
I don't get the dislike for puns. They are a valid form of humour.
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Offline brilligtove

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Re: Joke Friday!
« Reply #388 on: October 18, 2018, 10:48:55 AM »
Crickets, lutefisk, marmite, haggis, and pickled pig's foot are a valid form of food. That doesn't mean they are desireable forms of food for most people. I personally find puns much more fun to create than to consume. I don't hate them though.

Shit, a serious comment? JOKE JOKE JOKE

What is often red and always bad for your teeth?
A brick.

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The bartender says "Au! Get outta here!"
evidence trumps experience | performance over perfection | responsibility – authority = scapegoat | emotions motivate; data doesn't

Offline brilligtove

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Re: Joke Friday!
« Reply #389 on: December 28, 2018, 10:13:09 AM »
evidence trumps experience | performance over perfection | responsibility – authority = scapegoat | emotions motivate; data doesn't

 

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