Joke Friday!

[brilligtove]

Grammar, syntax, and cynicism walk into a bar.

The bartender says, "What wouldn't it be?"

I know it isn't Friday, but if I don't post now I'll forget.

[wastrel]

Astronaut 1: I can't find any milk for my coffee.

Astronaut 2: In space, no one can.  Here, use cream.

[brilligtove]

Astronaut 1: I can't find any milk for my coffee.

Astronaut 2: In space, no one can.  Here, use cream.

I think I died a little inside. Also, STOLEN.

ETA: I mean I'm stealing this.

[wastrel]

By all means, I ganked it from Twitter.

[wastrel]

Why don't kleptomaniacs understand puns?



They take things literally. 

[Morvis13]

[fred.slota]

For your consideration on this, the jokiest of all Fridays, I give you...


   The Republicans on the Senate Judicial Committee.



Also, how can you tell if a pirate is a boy or a girl?   By the color of the booties.

[Paul Blevins Jr.]

Astronaut 1: I can't find any milk for my coffee.

Astronaut 2: In space, no one can.  Here, use cream.

I think I died a little inside. Also, STOLEN.

ETA: I mean I'm stealing this.

Okay. Okay, feel free to call me stupid, but....I don't get it. It's obvious a pun off the tagline from ALIEN "In space no one can hear you scream" but I don't get it  beyond that. Why is there cream in space but not milk? Didn't astronauts have liquid milk on space missions? Is there something about milk and micro-gravity I'm ignorant about?

Sorry to be so stupid. Please educate me.

[CarbShark]

Astronaut 1: I can't find any milk for my coffee.

Astronaut 2: In space, no one can.  Here, use cream.

I think I died a little inside. Also, STOLEN.

ETA: I mean I'm stealing this.

Okay. Okay, feel free to call me stupid, but....I don't get it. It's obvious a pun off the tagline from ALIEN "In space no one can hear you scream" but I don't get it  beyond that. Why is there cream in space but not milk? Didn't astronauts have liquid milk on space missions? Is there something about milk and micro-gravity I'm ignorant about?

Sorry to be so stupid. Please educate me.

It's a pun. Say the punchline out loud.

[Paul Blevins Jr.]

Astronaut 1: I can't find any milk for my coffee.

Astronaut 2: In space, no one can.  Here, use cream.

I think I died a little inside. Also, STOLEN.

ETA: I mean I'm stealing this.

Okay. Okay, feel free to call me stupid, but....I don't get it. It's obvious a pun off the tagline from ALIEN "In space no one can hear you scream" but I don't get it  beyond that. Why is there cream in space but not milk? Didn't astronauts have liquid milk on space missions? Is there something about milk and micro-gravity I'm ignorant about?

Sorry to be so stupid. Please educate me.

It's a pun. Say the punchline out loud.

Yeah, I got the pun! Said so on my post. I just thought there was another level to it. I was way over-thinking it.

[arthwollipot]

Astronaut 1: I can't find any milk for my coffee.

Astronaut 2: In space, no one can.  Here, use cream.

I think I died a little inside. Also, STOLEN.

ETA: I mean I'm stealing this.

Okay. Okay, feel free to call me stupid, but....I don't get it. It's obvious a pun off the tagline from ALIEN "In space no one can hear you scream" but I don't get it  beyond that. Why is there cream in space but not milk? Didn't astronauts have liquid milk on space missions? Is there something about milk and micro-gravity I'm ignorant about?

Sorry to be so stupid. Please educate me.

It's a pun. Say the punchline out loud.

Yeah, I got the pun! Said so on my post. I just thought there was another level to it. I was way over-thinking it.

No, there's no deeper level. Sometimes a pun is just a pun.

[brilligtove]

Astronaut 1: I can't find any milk for my coffee.

Astronaut 2: In space, no one can.  Here, use cream.

I think I died a little inside. Also, STOLEN.

ETA: I mean I'm stealing this.

Okay. Okay, feel free to call me stupid, but....I don't get it. It's obvious a pun off the tagline from ALIEN "In space no one can hear you scream" but I don't get it  beyond that. Why is there cream in space but not milk? Didn't astronauts have liquid milk on space missions? Is there something about milk and micro-gravity I'm ignorant about?

Sorry to be so stupid. Please educate me.

It's a pun. Say the punchline out loud.

Yeah, I got the pun! Said so on my post. I just thought there was another level to it. I was way over-thinking it.

No, there's no deeper level. Sometimes a pun is just a pun.

This is supposed to be a joke thread. Haven't we all been

punished

enough?

/runs for cover

/throws chaff

What's the best thing about Switzerland?
I dunno, but the flag is a big plus.

I invented a new word: plagarism

Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar. "Get out," the bartender growled. "We don't serve your type here."

Why don't chemists trust atoms?
They make up everything.

[arthwollipot]

I don't get the dislike for puns. They are a valid form of humour.

[brilligtove]

Crickets, lutefisk, marmite, haggis, and pickled pig's foot are a valid form of food. That doesn't mean they are desireable forms of food for most people. I personally find puns much more fun to create than to consume. I don't hate them though.

Shit, a serious comment? JOKE JOKE JOKE

What is often red and always bad for your teeth?
A brick.

A gold brick walks into a bar.
The bartender says "Au! Get outta here!"

[brilligtove]