Author Topic: Joke Friday!  (Read 44860 times)

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Offline brilligtove

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Re: Joke Friday!
« Reply #405 on: September 03, 2019, 07:59:50 PM »
Did you know Mary Poppins does not wear lipstick while giving head?

It seems her super-colour fragile lipstick makes dicks look atrocious.
evidence trumps experience | performance over perfection | responsibility – authority = scapegoat | emotions motivate; data doesn't

Offline arthwollipot

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Re: Joke Friday!
« Reply #406 on: September 03, 2019, 08:34:55 PM »
Did you know that Mahatma Ghandi walked barefoot everywhere, so the soles of his feet were very tough. He also had a weird diet that both affected his health and made him very frail, and gave him very bad breath.

He was a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
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Offline daniel1948

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Re: Joke Friday!
« Reply #407 on: September 03, 2019, 10:45:08 PM »
Did you know that Mahatma Ghandi walked barefoot everywhere, so the soles of his feet were very tough. He also had a weird diet that both affected his health and made him very frail, and gave him very bad breath.

He was a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

That was really funny the first time I heard it about 25 years ago.
Daniel
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“You say you love your children above all else, and yet you are stealing their future in front of their very eyes.”
-- Greta Thunberg

Offline arthwollipot

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Re: Joke Friday!
« Reply #408 on: September 03, 2019, 11:22:25 PM »
Did you know that Mahatma Ghandi walked barefoot everywhere, so the soles of his feet were very tough. He also had a weird diet that both affected his health and made him very frail, and gave him very bad breath.

He was a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

That was really funny the first time I heard it about 25 years ago.

Wait until I remember my other joke based on that word, which is at least 50 years old. :D
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Offline bachfiend

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Re: Joke Friday!
« Reply #409 on: September 03, 2019, 11:50:33 PM »
Did you know that Mahatma Ghandi walked barefoot everywhere, so the soles of his feet were very tough. He also had a weird diet that both affected his health and made him very frail, and gave him very bad breath.

He was a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

That was really funny the first time I heard it about 25 years ago.

Wait until I remember my other joke based on that word, which is at least 50 years old. :D

I read a good joke in the current Australian sceptical magazine.

Q:  Why did the Americans, the Soviets and the former Communist East Germany cooperate in attempting to raise the Titanic?

A:
(click to show/hide)
.
Gebt ihr ihr ihr Buch zurück?

Offline Ron Obvious

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Re: Joke Friday!
« Reply #410 on: September 04, 2019, 07:43:23 AM »
The version I remember most is one of the most famous sports headlines of all time. From the Scottish FA Cup when minnow Caledonan Thistle upset highly-favoured Celtic in the third round:

Super Caley Go Ballistic, Celtic Are Atrocious

Offline brilligtove

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Re: Joke Friday!
« Reply #411 on: September 07, 2019, 10:17:02 PM »
I applied to be a sperm donor. The nurse asked if I could masturbate in the cup. I told her I'm pretty good, but there's no way I'm ready to compete in a pro-level tournament.
evidence trumps experience | performance over perfection | responsibility – authority = scapegoat | emotions motivate; data doesn't

Offline daniel1948

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Re: Joke Friday!
« Reply #412 on: October 04, 2019, 04:36:04 PM »
This was told to me as a true story. I have no idea:

A taxi driver in a city close to the US/Canadian border was called to an address in Canada to take a passenger to the U.S. When he got there he was told his passenger would ride in the trunk. He opened the trunk and an Asian man got in, and they closed the trunk. Driving to the border, the taxi driver thought to himself, "I'm not going to risk going to prison for a cab fare." So when he got to the border and the customs agent asked him if he had anything to declare, he said, "Yes. There's a Chinaman in the trunk of my car." The customs officer just said, "Get out of here!" and waved him on through.

I laughed for about 5 minutes when I heard this joke.
Daniel
----------------
“You say you love your children above all else, and yet you are stealing their future in front of their very eyes.”
-- Greta Thunberg