Author Topic: on the subject of PMs and etcetera (split from "Natalie's interview")  (Read 6159 times)

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Offline Beleth

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Oh, for heaven's sake...

P.S. I never intended news that I was splitting to get out. That was a private message to Beleth that he, for some reason, decided to go ahead and disclose, in violation of the forum's own rules. I wanted it to be quiet so that the inevitable volley of kick-her-while-she's-down shit-talking and "oh, that drama queen" stuff, as exemplified partly in this thread and elsewhere, wouldn't happen... and also so that it just wouldn't be a big deal in general. I apologize for the fact that it did end up becoming a public issue, despite my effort to keep it quiet. I perhaps could have been more explicit in telling Beleth to not say anything, or not have written him at all.

I disclosed it because it needed to be disclosed, and you made it very clear that you didn't want to be the one to do it.

You think the anti-Natalie sentiment was bad after I announced it? Believe me, it would have been a hundred times worse had you just vanished and I had let the speculation run rampant. I kind of know what I'm doing here. I've made it much easier for both you and for the moderation team, whether you realize it or not.

And speaking of the moderation team... if you have something to say to me, say it to me. Don't go passing messages to me through my friends and colleagues.  This isn't middle school, and I find that behavior repugnant and (dare I say it?) offensive.

"Oh, for heaven's sake" right back atcha.

Quote
Now I have to go and re-sabotage my account.

This is a ridiculous course of action, and doubly so to announce it, since you can obviously un-sabotage your account any time you feel like it. Fish or cut bait; either leave it un-sabotaged or ask me to lock it.
« Last Edit: December 24, 2011, 06:43:26 PM by pandamonium »
I expect to pass through this world but once;
any good thing therefore that I can do, or any kindness that I can show to any fellow creature, let me do it now;
let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.
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Offline Caffiene

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Re: Re: Natalie B's interview on "Godless Bitches"
« Reply #1 on: December 20, 2011, 06:35:57 PM »
This is a ridiculous course of action, and doubly so to announce it

Oh please. When she messages you privately, you announce it publicly even though its explicitly against your own rules, and when she announces it publicly you call it "doubly ridiculous" to announce things publicly.

What course of action do you expect her to take, since both announcing her leaving and not announcing her leaving are apparently the wrong choice?
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Offline wastrel

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Re: Re: Natalie B's interview on "Godless Bitches"
« Reply #2 on: December 20, 2011, 06:49:15 PM »

Offline Beleth

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Re: Re: Natalie B's interview on "Godless Bitches"
« Reply #3 on: December 21, 2011, 11:54:37 AM »
This is a ridiculous course of action, and doubly so to announce it
What course of action do you expect her to take, since both announcing her leaving and not announcing her leaving are apparently the wrong choice?

You might want to make sure the answer to a question you ask isn't in the part of a post you cut out next time.  Makes you look less like a fool.
I expect to pass through this world but once;
any good thing therefore that I can do, or any kindness that I can show to any fellow creature, let me do it now;
let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.
-- Stephan Grellet

Offline teethering

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Re: Re: Natalie B's interview on "Godless Bitches"
« Reply #4 on: December 21, 2011, 12:16:25 PM »
 :wookie: :11tea:

Offline Drunken Idaho

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Re: Re: Natalie B's interview on "Godless Bitches"
« Reply #5 on: December 21, 2011, 12:44:08 PM »
Wookie tea indeed, teethering; wookie tea indeed.
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Re: Re: Natalie B's interview on "Godless Bitches"
« Reply #6 on: December 21, 2011, 01:01:04 PM »
Wookie tea indeed, teethering; wookie tea indeed.

 :D best quote ever.

Offline Caffiene

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Re: Re: Natalie B's interview on "Godless Bitches"
« Reply #7 on: December 21, 2011, 05:22:53 PM »
You might want to make sure the answer to a question you ask isn't in the part of a post you cut out next time.  Makes you look less like a fool.

Perhaps you might point out to me where you answered whether she is supposed to announce or not announce her departure, then.

The only part i can see where you mentioned appropriate action is where you stated that she should either leave her account unsabotaged or have you ban her, but since I clearly stated I was talking about calling her out for announcing her leaving then whether or not the account is sabotaged has nothing to do with the question.
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Offline WC

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Re: Re: Natalie B's interview on "Godless Bitches"
« Reply #8 on: December 22, 2011, 09:22:48 PM »
(click to show/hide)
Yep, this^

(click to show/hide)
and this^

Thanks for putting it so succinctly, Caffiene.

(click to show/hide)
D'oh
« Last Edit: December 22, 2011, 09:39:22 PM by Wicked Combover »

Offline Natalie_B

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Re: Re: Natalie B's interview on "Godless Bitches"
« Reply #9 on: December 23, 2011, 09:23:57 PM »
Thanks for the support, Caffeine and WC.

...

Beleth, I had no means of contacting you directly.

I asked Karyn for your e-mail address, but she said you prefer for it not to be handed out. I wanted to respect that decision.

What I discussed with Karyn and Panda was mostly just an issue of venting frustrations and getting stuff off my chest. They and WC were at the time the only people from this board I was capable of contacting outside the board itself.

Also, my discussions with them were a matter of private correspondence. You bringing that up here is another act of publicly announcing something that had been a private matter.

You have also had a tendency to jump down my throat whenever I have questioned one of your decisions. Even when accidentally, or even when I take care to acknowledge my own responsibility in an issue, as with the post you are currently criticizing. It's a good and honourable thing to say "Please approach me directly if you take issue with one of my decisions. I'm open to criticism"... but only if you actually mean it.

...

It is technically possible for me to log back in "whenever I'd like", but it takes time and is a huge pain in the ass. The "sabotage" therefore keeps me from posting unless I feel I have a very, very good reason to do so, and it's worth going through the hassle. It has worked extremely well in terms of keeping me from jumping back in to take jabs at people or respond to criticisms or give in to the temptation to weigh in on the disclosure thread, etc. Given the situation and my human failings, it was a good idea, and it has worked for me exactly as I intended it to.

...

Also, mocking me for publicly announcing anything, given your decision to publicly announce things against my wishes, is in pretty poor taste.

I chose not to announce anything because in retrospect, my decision to announce my departure the first time was indeed immature. I should not have posted the snipes at people or publicly declared my frustration and disappointment while deciding to disengage. I should have simply disengaged. Which is what I had meant to do this time.

You say that things would have been worse if speculation had been left open. I disagree. I don't think anyone would even have noticed until a week or two had passed and emotions had died down. It also would have left the door open for me to occasionally come back for making small little posts or announcements.

Believe it or not, maybe I know what I'm doing, and I don't think it was fair of you to violate the forum's own policies for the sake of taking that decision away from me. And I have no idea why you then left the thread unlocked for the inevitable fallout.

Anyway... that's all, I guess.

If you want to talk more, or answer this post, feel free to e-mail me. I assume you have access to my address through the admin panel.

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Offline seaotter

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Re: Re: Natalie B's interview on "Godless Bitches"
« Reply #10 on: December 23, 2011, 09:33:05 PM »
Natalie b it was good to have you here while it lasted. I will love to read your stuff at skepchick, but I tire of this bullshit.
"There is no use trying," said Alice; "one can't believe impossible things." Lewis Carroll

Offline AxeGrrl

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Re: Re: Natalie B's interview on "Godless Bitches"
« Reply #11 on: December 24, 2011, 07:38:59 AM »
Natalie b it was good to have you here while it lasted. I will love to read your stuff at skepchick, but I tire of this bullshit.


Apparently (if you've been reading) Natalie feels the same, hence her saying 'adios' to this forum.


"Wouldn't it be much worse if life *were* fair, and all the terrible things that happen to us come because we actually deserve them?' So now I take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe."

Offline seaotter

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Re: Re: Natalie B's interview on "Godless Bitches"
« Reply #12 on: December 24, 2011, 09:24:20 AM »
I'd love for her to come back, but again am tired of this bullshit. Fish or cut bait.
"There is no use trying," said Alice; "one can't believe impossible things." Lewis Carroll

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Re: Re: Natalie B's interview on "Godless Bitches"
« Reply #13 on: December 24, 2011, 09:33:00 AM »
Look, if Beleth is going to call her out for something I have no problem with her coming back to respond especially when it involves accusations of the site admin breaking the forum's own rules.  Only reason I've not commented is because I have no idea what went on between them when she left, but her complainta seem valid.  Still, at this point since only the mods and Natalie are in any position to know all the relavent facts maybe it should be taken to PMs, and an annoncement can be made at the end of it. 

Offline AxeGrrl

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Re: Re: Natalie B's interview on "Godless Bitches"
« Reply #14 on: December 24, 2011, 09:47:19 AM »
I'd love for her to come back, but again am tired of this bullshit. Fish or cut bait.


Yes, you said that.

Can you clarify what 'bullshit' you're referring to specifically seaotter?

Because so far, it's not clear.

"Wouldn't it be much worse if life *were* fair, and all the terrible things that happen to us come because we actually deserve them?' So now I take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe."

 

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