Author Topic: Snowplow parents  (Read 1867 times)

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Offline Ah.hell

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Re: Snowplow parents
« Reply #45 on: March 22, 2019, 02:40:34 PM »
I can't quote a source at the mo, but I've heard anecdotes of parents doing exactly that with their kid's bosses.
It could be the article in the op.

Quote
In a new poll by The New York Times and Morning Consult of a nationally representative group of parents of children ages 18 to 28, three-quarters had made appointments for their adult children, like for doctor visits or haircuts, and the same share had reminded them of deadlines for school. Eleven percent said they would contact their child’s employer if their child had an issue.

The OP and the article are really about privileged kids and their parents who make an effort to ensure their kids experience no obstacles and how that sort of parenting appears to be trickling down the economic ladder.  There was an anecdote about girl who had never encountered sauce before her college food court and left school as result.  I'm not sure how you could conclude that was the result of the abuse that parent had experienced as a kid or that protecting your child from sauce was a good thing.  A good impulse gone bad perhaps but not a good thing for sure. 

Seriously, making doctors appointment for you adult child of normal to above average intellectual capacity is just sad.

Offline CarbShark

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Re: Snowplow parents
« Reply #46 on: March 22, 2019, 03:58:13 PM »
I can't quote a source at the mo, but I've heard anecdotes of parents doing exactly that with their kid's bosses.
It could be the article in the op.

Quote
In a new poll by The New York Times and Morning Consult of a nationally representative group of parents of children ages 18 to 28, three-quarters had made appointments for their adult children, like for doctor visits or haircuts, and the same share had reminded them of deadlines for school. Eleven percent said they would contact their child’s employer if their child had an issue.

The OP and the article are really about privileged kids and their parents who make an effort to ensure their kids experience no obstacles and how that sort of parenting appears to be trickling down the economic ladder.  There was an anecdote about girl who had never encountered sauce before her college food court and left school as result.  I'm not sure how you could conclude that was the result of the abuse that parent had experienced as a kid or that protecting your child from sauce was a good thing.  A good impulse gone bad perhaps but not a good thing for sure. 

Seriously, making doctors appointment for you adult child of normal to above average intellectual capacity is just sad.

I once had a co-worker ask me to hire her kid (early 20s). With no favoritism (he was one of two qualified candidates for four open positions) he was hired.

 Soon she was asking that he get his choice of schedule so he could be home in time for dinner; then she was asking that he get better assignments to show off his talents.

He wasn't a great employee and ended up transferring to another department and getting laid off.

But before that she came into the office and told me she was sorry she'd recommended him for a job and letting me know it was OK to fire him, and that she hoped I would (she was upset for dumping a finance or something).

Parents.
and Donald Trump is President of the United States.

I'm not a doctor, I'm just someone who has done a ton of research into diet and nutrition.

Offline Zelda McMuffin

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Re: Snowplow parents
« Reply #47 on: May 04, 2019, 09:44:25 PM »
I wish they had your dads attitude in my school in the 70s and early 80s. The amount of abuse from teachers during that time period was sickening (at least in my "middle class" school). I'm glad parents became outraged about school discipline and put an end to it (probably because they themselves had been abused by their schools). 

It may have gotten out of hand and could pull back a few notches but Ill take it compared to the nightmare I had to endure.  I never had kids and I regret it but if I had I would be in that school every step of the way making sure what happened to my generation does not happen to them.

I think there must be/have been a great deal of regional variation in the above - in my region in the early 80s and beyond, it wasn't all that far off from what I see in my kid's school now.

I'm sure abuse varied greatly from school to school but almost all schools in the 70s allowed corporal punishment.  Did they paddle the kids in your school?  Did the teachers cut holes in the paddles for less wind resistance?

As young kids we were locked in dark closets as punishment (mom did go in and fight that forcing them to stop), one teacher picked me up by my ears in 5th grade, i'm big and it hurt me badly, today it would be assault. Another constantly pinched me under my arms until I cried for not being able to correctly write in cursive on those stupid 3 lined papers. Dont even get me started on Jr High where paddling became more frequent and harder. In the 70s and 80s stuff like that seemed to be the norm.  I didn't really get in any trouble for acting out, I may have been a loud kid but most of that was related to my failure with my studies or no homework.

Other kids got it much worse than me and most of those kids were in lower income brackets.  I watched two brothers who were constantly punished for not having proper gym cloths, Just looking at them you knew dam well the parents could not afford them or didn't care to make sure the kids had them, why punish the kids? Fuck that school.  By the time I got to High school I had enough and walked away from it.  I'm sure some kids in my school got through it with no abuse and may not even have been aware it was going on. Watching some kid get picked up by his ears was comedy to them back then, not abuse.
I remember the paddles! Always thought the holes were for the nice whistle before contact- in fact, I think the principal of our elementary school told us that. He had two up on his wall, as decoration...I assume? I never heard about anybody getting paddled.
This was in the late 80s, and the teachers all the way through to high school said we were the best class they'd had. Either the class of '99 was a holy terror, or it was because of the pop-psych self-esteem trend and they were trying to make us great by telling us we were already. They hadn't yet started handing out trophies and prizes like candy yet... That was 5-10 years later.
I think these trends do manifest in the children, though. My fellow (middle-class) parents are very involved, sometimes helicopter-ish, but mostly worried that our kids will get "tracked" into less challenging classes and be left behind. The previous poster who described the sh*tty prospects for kids coming out of college now, especially if they aren't in STEM, is spot on.
Many of us have to fight off the judgmental comments and even legal consequences if we so much as let our kids walk to school by themselves  There's a lot of contradictory criticism coming at us, so please don't blame everything on the parents or teachers- we're all trying to raise the next generation to take on whatever career hasn't yet been automated by the time they grow up

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Offline Zelda McMuffin

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Re: Snowplow parents
« Reply #48 on: May 04, 2019, 10:01:14 PM »
I can't quote a source at the mo, but I've heard anecdotes of parents doing exactly that with their kid's bosses.
It could be the article in the op.

Quote
In a new poll by The New York Times and Morning Consult of a nationally representative group of parents of children ages 18 to 28, three-quarters had made appointments for their adult children, like for doctor visits or haircuts, and the same share had reminded them of deadlines for school. Eleven percent said they would contact their child’s employer if their child had an issue.

The OP and the article are really about privileged kids and their parents who make an effort to ensure their kids experience no obstacles and how that sort of parenting appears to be trickling down the economic ladder.  There was an anecdote about girl who had never encountered sauce before her college food court and left school as result.  I'm not sure how you could conclude that was the result of the abuse that parent had experienced as a kid or that protecting your child from sauce was a good thing.  A good impulse gone bad perhaps but not a good thing for sure. 

Seriously, making doctors appointment for you adult child of normal to above average intellectual capacity is just sad.
"...had never encountered *sauce* before..."?! THAT is hilarious! And sad. I really hope these are just the most extreme examples.
Parents in my bracket (parents of tweens) are up in their kids' business, (social-media nastiness and device addiction are a headache!) but we do want the kids to experience a bit of failure now, when the consequences are small, so they know how to handle bigger problems later.

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