Skeptics Guide to the Universe Forums

The Skeptics' Guide to the Universe => Messages and Questions From the Panel => Topic started by: Jay on July 02, 2006, 02:13:56 AM

Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Jay on July 02, 2006, 02:13:56 AM
Do you have any skeptically minded sayings or quotes that you think are really funny and or witty?  Post them here and on an upcoming show we will pick one or more of your submissions and award the winner with something...I don’t know...maybe a date with Rebecca or a meat based meal with Perry.  

Why are we doing this??  Because we want to put the best of your entries on merchandise like hats, shirts, mugs, laser guns, robots...well maybe not mugs but you get the idea.  If your entry gets selected you will also be so much cooler than everyone else here on the board so enter now...enter often.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Wonko the Sane on July 02, 2006, 02:57:49 AM
they have to be origional right?
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: ramboelmo on July 02, 2006, 09:37:29 AM
Okay here are things I say alot and I am not sure these two quotes would make good slogans but here it goes.

the first is a fake quote well atleast to my knowledge:

"They believed me!" - Jesus Christ
Rich Ludwig, Hillsboro, WV

Second:
God hates me.
Rich Ludwig, Hillsboro, WV

It shows in everthing I do and most people feel the need to correct me when I say that. you could change it to The skepticsguide to the UNIVERSE... God hates us.

those are my first two I will post more later and though they are offensive they are still funny.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: JD on July 02, 2006, 12:50:54 PM
"Eternal sin my ass, those apples look delicious."
  - First act of skepticism, according to the bible
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Jay on July 02, 2006, 02:20:05 PM
No they dont have to be original.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: sheila on July 02, 2006, 02:48:06 PM
I keep a collection of homemade screensavers with quotes I like.  Here are the ones short enough to fit on a t-shirt.

Reality is that which, when you cease to believe, continues to exist (don't know author)

Your god is too small (Phil Plait, speaking brilliantly at TAM4)

The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one (George Bernard Shaw)

Religions find miracles in gods
Scientists find miracles everywhere (don't know author)
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: sheila on July 02, 2006, 02:49:37 PM
Oops, funny or witty?  Well maybe the third one above.  The rest, not so much.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Paulhoff on July 02, 2006, 08:28:07 PM
I'm happy to say that in the whole universe only one planet, so far, has been infected with humans.

I fake pray; it keeps me from going up in smoke on the stake.

Faith is good, as long as you don’t spread it around.

Everyone is ignorance about something and can learn, excluding stupid people, who stay stupid no matter what you do.

If you are religious and tripped over reality, would you get up and go back and only kick it.

Is that intern or infirm, or did it become infirm after the intern.

Much worse than the Question not asked is the Answer not given.

Christianity, Years of fear.

With true free will there can be no punishment, with punishment there is no true free will.

The problem with common sense, it is not common enough.

Paul

 :D  :D  :D
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Paulhoff on July 02, 2006, 08:29:14 PM
If a finch comes but once a year to a 10,000 foot high granite mountain to sharpen it's beak, the time it takes to wear it down to a grain of sand that will fit thru the eye of a needle, THAT'S IS ONE SECOND IN ETERNITY.
(Chris Rush)


Mr. Question Man, if the earth is shaped like a ball, why aren't people falling off.
Well, that is a common misconception; people are falling off all the time.
(Stolen and modified from Ernie Kovacs)

Paul

 :D  :D  :D
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Wonko the Sane on July 02, 2006, 08:58:50 PM
If 50 million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.
- Anatole France

First they ignore science, then they laugh at science, then they fight science, then science wins.
- Mahatma Ghandi (Modified by me, changed "you" to "science"

An important scientific innovation rarely makes its way by gradually winning over and converting its opponents: it rarely happens that Saul becomes Paul. What does happen is that its opponents gradually die out and that the growing generation is familiarized with the idea from the beginning.
- Max Plank

The truth will set you free, but first it will probably piss you off.
- Anonymous

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has.
- Margaret Mead

In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted.
- Bertrand Russell

Aristotle maintained that women have fewer teeth than men; although he was twice married, it never occurred to him to verify this statement by examining his wives' mouths.
- Bertrand Russell

Conventional people are roused to fury by departure from convention, largely because they regard such departure as a criticism of themselves.
- Bertrand Russell

Men fear thought as they fear nothing else on earth, more than ruin, more even than death. Thought is subversive and revolutionary, destructive and terrible, thought is merciless to privilege, established institutions, and comfortable habit. Thought looks into the pit of hell and is not afraid. Thought is great and swift and free, the light of the world, and the chief glory of man.
- Bertrand Russell





These are not really skeptical quotes but I saw a few other religious ones

I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.
- Stephen Roberts

I have examined all the known superstitions of the world, and I do not find in our particular superstition of Christianity one redeeming feature. They are all alike founded on fables and mythology.
- Thomas Jefferson

So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence.
- Bertrand Russell

I find the whole business of religion profoundly interesting. But it does mystify me that otherwise intelligent people take it seriously.
- Douglas Adams

With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.
- Steven Weinberg
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: kiwidust on July 03, 2006, 01:00:42 PM
My wife does T-Shirt embroidery as a hobby.  We've started a list of such things for an eventual online shop - she's made me several.  None of these are "polished" (just a brainstormed list) and many would benefit from some tweaking... but if you can use them, be my guest.

We had considered a set of shirts that said "Skeptical American" on the front and different things on the back (the first is my favorite):

Never without a doubt.

Bunk. Hokum. Hooey.

Immune to Hauntings, Alien Abductions, Possession, Subluxation, and Bullshit.


I was also playing with a few "skeptical/atheist parent" ideas.  This one just REALLY pisses off the evangelicals (wear it where they're protesting gay marriage...):

My kids don't believe in God either.

or

My kids don't go to church either.

In the same vein but less antagonistic (and more optimistic I think):

My Kids ask "Why"?

or

My Kids Question.

or

My Kids Evolved.

Kind of long (you could replace the f-bomb with something less explosive)...

A priest, a minister and a politician walked into a bar... and fucked up my kid's science education.

Wishing for the rapture.  Maybe then my kids will get a decent science education.


And some others:

I'm Evolved enough to know I'm not Designed.

I'm a Damn Dirty Ape!

Just say "No" to Creationism.

One of these things is not like the other: School.  Evolution.  Religion.  Education.

I see the light!  And Darwin is holding the flashlight.

Keep your Faith out of My Classroom.

I grant you a "free, non-exclusive license into perpetuity" for any of these.  ;^)

Jim Davis


Jim Davis
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: gost on July 04, 2006, 03:47:51 PM
Slogan ideas:
Spare me your logical fallacies!

I'm a skeptic . . .
and sometimes I even doubt THAT.

I'm a skeptic . . .
Sorry to annoy you with facts.

Skeptic: A person with faith in doubt and doubt in faith.

T-shirt ideas:
I am a transitional species.

I'm a skeptic, and no,
I'm not wearing any fallacies

Body Designed by Natural Selection.

Think of my body as Evolution in Action.

Mugs:
CAUTION: The temperature of this mug is carefully regulated by the laws of thermodynamics.

Famous quotes I like:
I don't believe in astrology; I'm a Sagittarius and we're skeptical.
-Arthur C. Clarke

I intend to leave after my death a large fund for the promotion of the peace idea, but I am skeptical as to its results.
-Alfred Nobel

Skeptical scrutiny is the means, in both science and religion, by which deep thoughts can be winnowed from deep nonsense.
-Carl Sagan

The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has limits.
-Albert Einstein

I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.
-Wilson Mizne

Learning without thinking is useless. Thinking without learning is dangerous.
-Kong Fuzi (Confucius)

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
-Albert Einstein

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
-Philip K. Dick

There are some people that if they don't know, you can't tell 'em.
- Louis Armstrong

What we need is not the will to believe but the will to find out.
- Bertrand Russell

You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
- Mark Twain

If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
-Albert Einstein

I can't see any farther.  Giants are standing on my shoulders!
- unknown

Advances are made by answering questions. Discoveries are made by questioning answers.
-Bernhard Haisch, astrophysicist

And finally, to sum it all up:
"A witty saying proves nothing."  - Voltaire
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Wonko the Sane on July 04, 2006, 03:55:33 PM
Nice gost, I like the slogans and t shirt ideas
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: cyborganics on July 05, 2006, 02:51:05 AM
Don't believe.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Paulhoff on July 05, 2006, 03:19:16 PM
Believing is not seeing.

Paul

 :D  :D  :D
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: JD on July 05, 2006, 04:00:41 PM
I think I'd consider wearing a shirt that says "100% Primate" with a one color chimp face grinning.  On the back you could put a list of all the species found on the human side of the chimp/man split, with their corresponding dates of existence, like a concert tour shirt.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: JD on July 05, 2006, 04:01:27 PM
Damn, that's brilliant, what am I doing giving away profitable ideas? :P
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Paulhoff on July 05, 2006, 05:03:38 PM
Jesus, he is still dead.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Wonko the Sane on July 05, 2006, 05:07:22 PM
Quote from: "JD"
I think I'd consider wearing a shirt that says "100% Primate" with a one color chimp face grinning.  On the back you could put a list of all the species found on the human side of the chimp/man split, with their corresponding dates of existence, like a concert tour shirt.



That would also work well with

"Body Designed by Natural Selection."

or

"I'm a Damn Dirty Ape!"
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: JJamesB on July 05, 2006, 09:25:20 PM
Okay, I wasn't going to do this, but my fortune cookie just said 'take a chance' so here goes.  Just some simple t-shirt type slogans?

1)Believe it or not I'm a skeptic

2)I'm a skeptic and I can prove it

3)I heard you the first time--I just didn't believe you

4)Skeptical, bright, critical thinker seeks same

5)sure there's intelligent life out there, there just isn't any in here

finally...not mine and can't remember where I heard it:

6)I'm a dyslexic agnostic--I'm not sure if there really is a dog

they're simple and corny, I know, but they're what spilled out of my head..;-)
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Paulhoff on July 05, 2006, 10:25:45 PM
The first intelligent thing you said was, that you not intelligent.
Title: I throw my hat in the ring
Post by: jesuspi on July 06, 2006, 11:57:39 AM
Here's my shot at the Skeptic's Guide prize... Whatever the heck it is. Pay little attention to my comments, they are mainly the children of starvation... hungry, must have cookie.

:lol:

Everything that can be thought at all can be thought clearly
my homeboy Ludwig Wittgenstein

 The brain is my second favorite organ.
Woody Allen

Reserve your right to think, for even to think wrongly is better than not to think at all.
Hypatia of Alexandria (my personal choice for a cool date)

 
Where belief starts, science ends
Ernst Haekel

Get your facts straight, and then you can distort them at your leisure
Mark Twain

The pure truth is always a lie.
Bert Hellinger

To teach superstitions as truth is a most terrible thing.
Hypatia of Alexandria (Who said there weren't skepchicks in the past)

 You know what I like most? Rhetorical questions.
Anonymous

He who possesses science and art, also has religion; he who does not possess the two, better have religion.
Goethe

Each progressive spirit is opposed by a thousand men appointed to guard the past.
Maurice Maeterlink

Happy he who can know the causes of things and who, free of all fears, can lay the inexorable fate and the noise of Acheron to his feet.
Publius Vergilius Maro

The most important instrument of a scientist is the waste paper basket
Anonymous

The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
Mark Twain

The riddle does not exist. If a question can be put at all, it can be answered.
Ludwig Wittgenstein
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Jaan on July 06, 2006, 03:14:44 PM
I just heard this one on The Clobert Report and I thought it was great:

"Isn't an Agnostic just an Atheist without balls?"
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Steven Novella on July 06, 2006, 05:24:14 PM
Quote from: "Jaan"
I just heard this one on The Clobert Report and I thought it was great:

"Isn't an Agnostic just an Atheist without balls?"


Wow - that's ancient.

Look up T.H. Huxley
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Paulhoff on July 06, 2006, 05:58:28 PM
Agnostic is a Atheist who does not know it all.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Askestad on July 06, 2006, 07:30:48 PM
A Couple of quotes from one of my heroes, Isaac Asimov:

Don't you believe in flying saucers, they ask me? Don't you believe in telepathy? — in ancient astronauts? — in the Bermuda triangle? — in life after death?
No, I reply. No, no, no, no, and again no.
One person recently, goaded into desperation by the litany of unrelieved negation, burst out "Don't you believe in anything?"
"Yes", I said. "I believe in evidence. I believe in observation, measurement, and reasoning, confirmed by independent observers. I'll believe anything, no matter how wild and ridiculous, if there is evidence for it. The wilder and more ridiculous something is, however, the firmer and more solid the evidence will have to be." - The Roving Mind p. 43

The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!', but 'That's funny …'

There is no belief, however foolish, that will not gather its faithful adherents who will defend it to the death.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Jaan on July 07, 2006, 10:23:58 AM
Quote from: "Steven Novella"
Quote from: "Jaan"
I just heard this one on The Clobert Report and I thought it was great:

"Isn't an Agnostic just an Atheist without balls?"


Wow - that's ancient.

Look up T.H. Huxley
I dunno ... I googled "agnostic atheist without balls" and all I got was Steven Colbert (c:

It was a very good episode, he said it during an interview with Bart Ehrman, the author of Misquoting Jesus.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: GK on July 09, 2006, 02:22:26 PM
Here's another oldie, but which I believe is a goodie:

"'Natural Selection;' It's Only Natural"

Obviously fun to use when someone has made a choice to do something that prevents them from future procreation (e.g. that godbag fellow choosing to jump in with the lions at the zoo in Kiev) - which either happens too often or not enough; depending on whether you're sad about more people not exercising critical thinking skills more often, or whether you'd like to see more people punished for not exercising those skills.

BTW, if this saying is chosen, I'd like it to be put on a laser gun please!
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Three on July 10, 2006, 11:53:51 PM
WWDD
What would Darwin do?
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Carl on July 11, 2006, 05:19:21 AM
A bit of Googling reveals the following....

"The outrageous is the reasonable, if introduced politely."
- Charles Fort

"Give a skeptic an inch and he'll measure it..."
- Unattributed

"Certitude belongs exclusively to those who only own one encyclopedia. "
- Robert Anton Wilson

"Books must follow sciences, and not sciences books."
- Francis Bacon

"To surrender to ignorance and call it God has always been premature, and it remains premature today."
- Isaac Asimov

"The deepest sin against the human mind is to believe things without evidence."
- Thomas H. Huxley

"Religions die when they are proven to be true. Science is the record of dead religions."
- Oscar Wilde

"It is in the uncompromisingness with which dogma is held and not in the dogma, or want of dogma, that the danger lies."
- Samuel Butler

"There is more religion in men's science, than there is science in their religion."
- Henry David Thoreau

"Prayer has no place in the public schools, just like facts have no place in organized religion."
- School Superintendent on "The Simpsons" episode #100

"Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins a movie by telling you how it ends! Well I say there are some things we don't want to know! Important things!"
- Ned Flanders
Title: quotations for the promotion of skeptics &skeptical thin
Post by: cephied on July 11, 2006, 03:18:39 PM
"The demand is for certainty is a sign of weakness."  Mark Rutherford-W. Hale White


“The most dangerous of all falsehoods is a slightly distorted truth”-Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

thanks for the show.  keep it up.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: ramboelmo on July 14, 2006, 05:16:52 PM
The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one.

-George Bernard Shaw  (according to brainyquote.com)
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: zylark on July 14, 2006, 06:57:58 PM
Superstitious thinking, isn't!
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Ole Eivind on July 14, 2006, 07:27:09 PM
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." ~Albert Einstein

"The most violent element in society is ignorance." ~ Emma Goldman

"The candle and glasses are useless, if the owl doesn't want to see." ~ a Dutch aphorism on skepticism and belief

"Give a skeptic an inch and he'll measure it..."

"We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?"

Homeopathy - keeps you hydrated

And if you're ever at a paranormal convention I'd say you could stick to the classic "I'm with stupid" t-shirt with arrows pointing everywhere.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: JD on July 14, 2006, 09:56:21 PM
Perfect shirt for a paranormal convention:

The truth isn't here.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Three on July 15, 2006, 03:27:05 AM
"faith shmaith"
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Wonko the Sane on July 15, 2006, 06:54:18 AM
"Front of shirt.
Logic...It's only Logical...

back:
Wait nevermind that's a Tautology"
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: gost on July 15, 2006, 09:32:04 AM
I'm still waiting to see if Rebecca has agreed to this "date" business.  :roll:
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: zylark on July 15, 2006, 01:18:20 PM
This might be a bit too coarse, but here we go:

"Assumptions is the mother of all fuckups!"

Heard in a movie. Think it was one of the "Alien" ones, but I'm not sure.

edit: Umm, no. It's apparantly been used in "Under Siege 2" (google is my friend). But thinking about it, I distinctly remember John Travolta using this line in "Broken Arrow" and that is where I get it from. Ahh, the Irony, JT using what could only be defined as a skeptical slogan :)
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Three on July 15, 2006, 07:47:27 PM
im thinking of one of those credit card commercials (MC?) where they list some things and what they cost...then end with some family value and say "priceless."

so we'd have something like...

the offering tray on Sunday $25

pledge to support worldwide tele-evangelist  $200

the wisdom to know it's a scam...priceless


maybe someone here can come up with a better version of this (help)
Title: How about...?
Post by: Sarek of Vulcan on July 15, 2006, 09:55:55 PM
When in doubt, observe and ask questions. When certain, observe at length and ask many more questions.
Gen. George S. Patton (1885 - 1945)

This could be the technical writer's credo.  :lol:
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Ole Eivind on July 16, 2006, 10:06:09 AM
"Alien abductees lack abductive reasoning"

Now a little off-topic, but:

Quote
Heard in a movie. Think it was one of the "Alien" ones, but I'm not sure.


In "Lock, stock and two smoking barrels"  one person says "Assumption is the brother of all fuckups", is then corrected and replies "brother, mother or any other sucker.."
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Luna on July 16, 2006, 07:09:13 PM
I have a good one, how about a tee shirt With a blank underline which read's


_____________


Insert Pseudo-Belief (or Science) Here^


kind of funny lol
or some variation of that.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: goosegirl on July 16, 2006, 11:39:10 PM
Here are my suggestions.  I am more visual so I made icons

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v101/shywitch/shirts/tsd2.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v101/shywitch/shirts/tsd1.jpg
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Wonko the Sane on July 17, 2006, 12:04:28 AM
Quote from: "goosegirl"
Here are my suggestions.  I am more visual so I made icons

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v101/shywitch/shirts/tsd2.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v101/shywitch/shirts/tsd1.jpg


 :lol:  :lol: Nice!
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Three on July 17, 2006, 02:19:06 AM
A brain is a terrible thing to wash.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: cyborganics on July 17, 2006, 02:38:37 AM
Goosegirl, I love where you're going with the first T-shirt idea. Shiney.
Title: Great ones, goosegirl!
Post by: Sarek of Vulcan on July 17, 2006, 06:55:58 PM
ROTFLMAO!!!! :lol:
Title: Contest
Post by: mikejmills on July 17, 2006, 09:42:40 PM
This one I've heard numerous places but I like it.

"Blasphemy is a crime invented by Priests to defend a Doctrine to weak to defend itself."
I think sagan said it.

Here's another one I heard on house.
"Gods an imaginary friend for growups"

Last a probably least is my own take.
"Blind Faith is fine until you reach the edge of a cliff"
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Three on July 17, 2006, 10:34:16 PM
if there's a god, why do good things happen to good people?

or

Impeach God!
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: ming on July 18, 2006, 01:53:43 AM
"Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord." - Isaiah 1:18, The Bible :wink:

"Did you expect mere proof to sway my opinion?"

"Sooner or later reality bites you in the ass."

"Excuse me, my karma just ran over your dogma." 8)

"Reality: what a concept!" - Robin Williams :lol:

"Belief is not required." - Gerry Roston
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: cyborganics on July 19, 2006, 03:46:14 AM
Quote
"Don't believe everything you think." -Thomas Kida
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: eddy on July 19, 2006, 08:16:46 PM
I am an out of control chemistry experiment[/size]
translation of something we said back when I was still at school
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: eddy on July 19, 2006, 08:22:54 PM
Quote from: "Ole Eivind"
"Give a skeptic an inch and he'll measure it..."

I have to second this one!
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: eddy on July 19, 2006, 08:28:29 PM
I kind of like
ban dihydrate-monoxide
to acknowlegde P&T BS

You could add, to the back side
so your dog doesn't have to come back to not pee on the couch
but that is a real obscure reference to a phrase in P&T BS. It's not from the same episode, but they go well together.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Sam on July 20, 2006, 03:57:31 PM
"A man with a conviction is a hard man to change.  Tell him you disagree and he turns away.  Show him facts or figures and he questions your sources.  Appeal to logic and he fails to see your point."
Leon Festinger

"For fanaticism is the only 'strength of the will' that even the weak and insecure. can be brought to attain"
Friedrich Nietzsche

"To explain the unknown by the known is a logical procedure;
To explain the known by the unknown is a form of theological lunacy."

David Brooks

"Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion."
Scott Adams

"If we are going to teach creation science as an alternative to evolution, then we should also teach the stork theory as an alternative to biological reproduction."
Judith Hayes

"Creationism isn't the alternative to evolution. Ignorance is."
http://home.austarnet.com.au/stear/default.htm
Title: From the bush cabnet
Post by: neurascenic on July 24, 2006, 04:14:42 PM
A simple saying...


"reality based"

ñ
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: cosmicvagabond on July 25, 2006, 03:51:57 AM
My skeptical philosophy can be summed up in three letters and a punctuation mark:   WTF?
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: eddy on July 25, 2006, 02:28:54 PM
 Skeptical thinking: If you are certain, think again

Skeptical inquiry: rattle the thinking box to understand what sort of logic is in there

Just made both up
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: ramboelmo on July 27, 2006, 07:56:55 AM
I thought of this yesterday working in the garden.

Question everything even skepticism.

Rich Ludwig
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: RiverDay on July 27, 2006, 08:24:43 AM
Always thought that one of the greatest quote was;

"Stupidity is doing the same thing twice expecting different results"

I think Einstein did that one.
Title: Contest
Post by: RiverDay on July 27, 2006, 10:44:19 PM
"Ask not what you believe in, but believe in what you ask"

Skeptic presidential candidate

"Believe the question, not the answer"

A true skeptic
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: azinyk on August 01, 2006, 12:06:25 PM
This might be too long for a t-shirt, but:

"My great-aunt Tillie never quoted a statistically rigourous study in her life, and she lived to be a hundred and five."

-
Ashley Zinyk
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Denis 20100 on August 06, 2006, 03:13:25 PM
Miracles are not contrary to nature, but only contrary to what we know about nature.

St. Augustine
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: JohnMaddox on August 08, 2006, 01:01:47 PM
Saw this via Pharyngula (http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2006/08/it_works_bitches.php#commentsArea) and thought it appropriate for this topic:

Check it out:


http://xkcd.com/comics/science.jpg

-John
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: swpalmer on August 08, 2006, 06:51:53 PM
Quote from: "Douglas Adams"
All opinions are not equal. Some are a very great deal more robust, sophisticated and well supported in logic and argument than others.


Quote from: "Hypatia of Alexandria"
To teach superstitions as truth is a most terrible thing.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Paulhoff on August 08, 2006, 07:28:15 PM
Quote from: "swpalmer"
Quote from: "Douglas Adams"
All opinions are not equal. Some are a very great deal more robust, sophisticated and well supported in logic and argument than others.


Quote from: "Hypatia of Alexandria"
To teach superstitions as truth is a most terrible thing.


And then there is religion.

Paul

 :D  :D  :D
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: 6for2 on August 09, 2006, 10:52:22 PM
When faced with dogmatic religious types, unable to converse reasonably about their favorite topic, I usually say: "Jesus ate my egroll", then make a graceful exit.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Nuvo on August 12, 2006, 12:31:56 PM
It is really??
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Sam on August 23, 2006, 04:02:50 AM
Just an idea:
(http://home.no.net/bigsam/Evidence.jpg)
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Jeff O on August 25, 2006, 01:37:23 AM
REALITY
     Apply directly
     to forehead
REALITY
     Apply directly
     to forehead
REALITY
     Apply directly
     to forehead
REALITY
     Apply directly
     to forehead
...
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: BiochemGirl on August 28, 2006, 11:47:51 PM
Quote
REALITY
     Apply directly
     to forehead
REALITY
     Apply directly
     to forehead
REALITY
     Apply directly
     to forehead
REALITY
     Apply directly
     to forehead
...


Ha! Every time that commercial comes on, I develop an insane need to throw something at my TV. It's a good thing that the commercial is so short or else that need would bubble over into action.

My signature: I don't know if this has already been posted. (too sleepy to read all 5 pages right now). This is one of my favorites.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Durnett on August 31, 2006, 12:47:17 PM
Optimist: Good things happen to good people.
Pssimist: Bad things happen to good people.
Skeptic: Prove it!


A skeptic is the most gullible person in the world. He'll believe anything you can prove.
Title: Postmodernism
Post by: Sam on September 09, 2006, 06:01:17 PM
Another idea:
(http://home.no.net/bigsam/earth.jpg)
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: kmorgan on September 09, 2006, 09:19:35 PM
This was a tagline in a BBS email program I used to run...

"Jesus Saves... he passes to Moses, Moses shoots, he scores!!!"
Title: Voltaire
Post by: nandes on September 12, 2006, 01:18:33 PM
"Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd"
- Voltaire

"Jesus Christ is comming back, He want's to kick Mel Gibson's ass"
- NOFX
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: missmoo on September 16, 2006, 10:51:28 PM
"In the Beginning, Man created God" -- the true version of Genesis
it sounds a whole lot better in hebrew, how sad. Oh well.

This is a GREAT thing I found and might be awsome for a shirt:
(http://moriel.schottlender.net/GodSaid.gif)

Ah, and I am also a fan of "bash.org", which gives lots of greeaaattt quotes on the matter:

<Koushiro> "Religion is the opiate of the masses." -- Karl Marx
<Koushiro> "Winners don't do drugs." -- The FBI
(quote#351086)

<Seth> *** How to Create a Religion in 4 easy steps ***
<Seth> Step 1: Create "god", "evil" and "theories"
<Seth> Step 2: Write book (should take about a page)
<Seth> Step 3: Layer on the bullshit (should now be ~1000 pages)
<Seth> Step 4: Publish and wait for the suckers
(quote#444814)

<usagi> "As for religion and science, I'm placing a restraining order, Religion must stay 500 feet from Science at all times."
(quote#12864)

<XnD> Personally its not God I dislike, its his fan club I cant stand
(quote#277337)

<TN> i got kicked out of barnes and noble once for moving all the bibles into the fiction section
(quote#406373)



~moo
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Timothy Clemans on September 16, 2006, 11:30:16 PM
Quote from: "missmoo"
"In the Beginning, Man created God" -- the true version of Genesis
it sounds a whole lot better in hebrew, how sad. Oh well.

This is a GREAT thing I found and might be awsome for a shirt:
(http://moriel.schottlender.net/GodSaid.gif)

Ah, and I am also a fan of "bash.org", which gives lots of greeaaattt quotes on the matter:

<Koushiro> "Religion is the opiate of the masses." -- Karl Marx
<Koushiro> "Winners don't do drugs." -- The FBI
(quote#351086)

<Seth> *** How to Create a Religion in 4 easy steps ***
<Seth> Step 1: Create "god", "evil" and "theories"
<Seth> Step 2: Write book (should take about a page)
<Seth> Step 3: Layer on the bullshit (should now be ~1000 pages)
<Seth> Step 4: Publish and wait for the suckers
(quote#444814)

<usagi> "As for religion and science, I'm placing a restraining order, Religion must stay 500 feet from Science at all times."
(quote#12864)

<XnD> Personally its not God I dislike, its his fan club I cant stand
(quote#277337)

<TN> i got kicked out of barnes and noble once for moving all the bibles into the fiction section
(quote#406373)



~moo


That image is not correct.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: JD on September 17, 2006, 12:56:47 AM
Which part is incorrect?
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Timothy Clemans on September 17, 2006, 01:03:00 AM
you only need Maxwell's equations for light
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: cosmicvagabond on September 17, 2006, 03:08:14 PM
Quote from: "Timothy Clemans"
you only need Maxwell's equations for light


Yeah, but Maxwell wasn't born yet. DUH!
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: JD on September 17, 2006, 06:30:31 PM
Quote from: "Timothy Clemans"
you only need Maxwell's equations for light

So do you know what all those equations say/relate to?
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Timothy Clemans on September 17, 2006, 06:46:15 PM
light such as E=mc^2 but that is after you have light
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: kenhaley on September 18, 2006, 01:12:47 AM
I like this one a lot...

In order to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.

- Carl Sagan
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Jay on September 18, 2006, 05:50:26 AM
Quote from: "missmoo"

This is a GREAT thing I found and might be awsome for a shirt:
(http://moriel.schottlender.net/GodSaid.gif)



I love this...what equation is that?
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Timothy Clemans on September 18, 2006, 08:23:56 AM
Quote from: "Jay"
Quote from: "missmoo"

This is a GREAT thing I found and might be awsome for a shirt:
(http://moriel.schottlender.net/GodSaid.gif)



I love this...what equation is that?


They are many different equations.

(http://www.twobarkingdogs.com/images/Zoom/tbd_6F.jpg)

Go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maxwell%27s_equations#Summary_of_the_equations
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: missmoo on September 18, 2006, 11:43:35 AM
Quote from: "Timothy Clemans"
Quote from: "missmoo"
"In the Beginning, Man created God" -- the true version of Genesis
it sounds a whole lot better in hebrew, how sad. Oh well.

This is a GREAT thing I found and might be awsome for a shirt:
(http://moriel.schottlender.net/GodSaid.gif)

......

~moo


That image is not correct.


Okay, well, I didn't really check since I don't quite know the correct equasions. It's the idea that matters, though.. if anyone can write up the correct equasions, perhaps THAT would be a better idea ;)

~moo
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Timothy Clemans on September 18, 2006, 11:46:48 AM
They are at http://wiki.brainimaging.waisman.wisc.edu/index.php/Sandbox however it is a wiki sandbox so I don't how long they will be there.

I got it to work on my wikipedia user page.

(http://upload.wikimedia.org/math/3/5/6/3562c0ed9230b2f5f1ad076e63a81d43.png)
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: missmoo on September 18, 2006, 02:07:12 PM
Oh, hehe, here's a good one:

"Don't make me come down there!!" -- God.

~moo
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: kenhaley on September 19, 2006, 12:06:45 AM
After reading all these, I think my favorite is Jay's signature:
Quote
I don't believe it. Prove it to me and I still won't believe it. - Douglas Adams

How much more skeptical can you get?
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Ai52487963 on November 02, 2006, 01:48:02 AM
I like this one a whole lot: "Think globally, act galactically"
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: psiloiordinary on November 02, 2006, 02:56:34 AM
My wife teaches math and is also attending a teaching course.

They were given this as an ice-breaker - perhaps it would go on the back of the t-shirt?

St Augustine (354-430);

"The danger already exists that the mathematicians have made a covenant with the devil to darken the spirit and to confine man in the bonds of Hell."

I thought the language was great - think of it being said by Gandalf like he does the "smote his body upon the mountain side" bit.

Or maybe it should be on the front of the shirt with the equations on the back?

p.s. yes I know Gandalf isn't real

Although to be fair I can't prove he isn't real
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Freeman74 on November 02, 2006, 08:17:37 AM
Blasphemy, A victimless crime.

-I heard Salaman Rushdie say it, but he said he saw it somewhere.

If its a democracy I vote for
               Give a skeptic an inch and he will mesure it.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: joshbuddy on November 02, 2006, 10:45:14 AM
There was a quote I heard once .. I can't find the source, but it went something like this.

People would rather have answers they can't question then questions they can't answer.

*j*
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: a3maniac on January 21, 2007, 10:51:22 AM
CREATIONISTS
Watching the Flinstones like it's a documentary.


This t-shirt was created by an intelligent designer.
Title: Latin sayings of my own
Post by: rhodill on January 21, 2007, 09:23:29 PM
Veritas Pre Fides- Truth Before Belief
Cogito Pre Credo- I think before I believe
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: rhodill on January 21, 2007, 09:28:10 PM
Faith is believing what you know ain't so. --Mark Twain
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: moneyman1490 on January 21, 2007, 11:05:42 PM
There is nothing so horrible in nature as to see a beautiful theory murdered by an ugly gang of facts.

-Benjamin Franklin

The math works!-Neal Adams
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Mike on January 22, 2007, 07:36:41 AM
"I think it's better to have ideas. You can change an idea. Changing a belief is trickier. Life should malleable and progressive; working from idea to idea permits that. Beliefs anchor you to certain points and limit growth; new ideas can't generate. Life becomes stagnant."

-- Rufus from Dogma
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: sketchy on January 22, 2007, 01:26:02 PM
We like to use this one

"Jesus hates you"
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: subparwelder on February 03, 2007, 12:08:11 AM
I've got this one on my lunch box,  gets me into trouble at work:

Militant Agnostic: I Don't Know and You Don't Either.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: skidoo on February 07, 2007, 06:38:49 PM
If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck: Dissect it to make sure.

I crack myself up. :D
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: skidoo on February 08, 2007, 11:19:55 AM
From Robert Anton Wilson's blog (http://robertantonwilson.blogspot.com/2006/12/i-dont-know.html), just a month or so before he died:

Quote
Wavy Gravy once asked a Zen Roshi, "What happens after death?"
The Roshi replied, "I don't know."
Wavy protested, "But you're a Zen Master!"
"Yes," the Roshi admitted, "but I'm not a dead Zen Master."


:D
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: ChocolateCheepnis on February 08, 2007, 06:39:48 PM
"I never was aware of any other option but to question everything."

-Noam Chomsky

"everything is theoretically impossible until it is done."
-
"The difference between science and the fuzzy subjects is that science requires reasoning while those other subjects merely require scholarship."
-
"Belief gets in the way of learning."

all of these last three are
Robert A. Heinlein
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Winick88 on February 09, 2007, 03:35:01 AM
What schools need: A moment of SCIENCE.
Quote from: "Robert A. Heinlein"
You pilot always into an unknown future; facts are your single clue. Get the facts!

Quote from: "Karl Popper"
Good tests kill flawed theories; we remain alive to guess again.

Quote from: "David Hume"
A wise man, therefore, proportions his belief to the evidence.

Quote from: "Isaac Asimov"
Where any answer is possible, all answers are meaningless.

Quote from: "James Randi"
Everyone who believes in telekinesis, raise my hand.

Quote from: "Rene Descartes"
Doubt is the origin of wisdom.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Mike on February 09, 2007, 06:35:23 AM
One of my faves by Carl Sagan:

"In order to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe."
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Winick88 on February 09, 2007, 04:51:19 PM
Quote from: "Feynman"
Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt.
-----
Physics is like sex. Sure, it may give some practical results, but that's not why we do it.

Quote from: "Dawkins"
Your DNA may be destined to mingle with mine. Salutations!

Quote from: "Bill Nye, The Science Guy"
Science rules.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: LaPalida on February 11, 2007, 08:52:51 PM
Where Bishop Patrick crossed the street
An "X" now marks the spot.
The light of God was with him,
But the traffic light was not. -Yip Harburg
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: LaPalida on February 11, 2007, 08:54:58 PM
http://www.positiveatheism.org/hist/quotes/qframe.htm

Take your pick. They're not all funny though :)
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: heliocentricra on February 11, 2007, 09:35:54 PM
Quote from: "Winick88"

Quote from: "Dawkins"
Your DNA may be destined to mingle with mine. Salutations!

Hahah! What a weird mofo. What's that from?
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: LaPalida on February 11, 2007, 09:40:40 PM
I don't know if this was posted already but:

Debating creationists on the topic of evolution is rather like trying to play chess with a pigeon -- it knocks the pieces over, craps on the board, and flys back to its flock to claim victory.

I don't know who the author of this one is though.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: LaPalida on February 11, 2007, 10:09:06 PM
Hey Jay,

I was thinking... isn't this a copyright violation if the author of the quote didn't agree to this? If you pick a quote that wins... you should probably get permission to print it on the promo material from the author. Potentially you guys could get into alot of legal trouble over this.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Winick88 on February 11, 2007, 10:57:48 PM
Quote from: "heliocentricra"
Quote from: "Winick88"

Quote from: "Dawkins"
Your DNA may be destined to mingle with mine. Salutations!

Hahah! What a weird mofo. What's that from?

River Out of Eden, pg. 37
They could print it on a pair of boxers. :lol:
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: jason on February 12, 2007, 02:00:20 AM
Quote from: "LaPalida"
I was thinking... isn't this a copyright violation if the author of the quote didn't agree to this? If you pick a quote that wins... you should probably get permission to print it on the promo material from the author. Potentially you guys could get into alot of legal trouble over this.

Aren't there certain rules about copyright that define a minimum volume to which it applies, as far as quoting text goes? A one-liner would probably quite easily be classified as "fair use" (especially if it's properly attributed).
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Winick88 on February 12, 2007, 02:28:17 AM
Quote from: "Voltaire"
A witty saying proves nothing.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: LaPalida on February 12, 2007, 04:03:29 PM
I am not sure Jason. I would hope that it qualifies as fair use but I don't know for sure (is this a non-profit drive? I mean is Skeptic's Guide a non-profit organization? Perhaps that would qualify them for printing quotes on t-shirts and selling them to support the website and the podcast)... but somebody better look it up to make sure.

Here are some more quotes...ahem... not necessarily witty but definitely funny   :wink:

http://www.fstdt.com/

"I can sum it all up in three words: Evolution is a lie"

"[On the Harry Potter books]
To suggest to any child...that there is a way to escape the unhappy, real life world they live in and to retreat into a mystical fantasy world to find happiness is totally irresponsible and deceitful."

"So to say that science did everything in each inventions is telling only 1/3 the story. What is the other 1/3?"

"Have you ever seen an airplane or a bird? They defy the theory of gravity. Dont' say stupid stuff..... theorys can be broken, that's why they're not laws....."

"There is a physical description of DNA in Genesis."
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: moneyman1490 on February 12, 2007, 06:40:47 PM
Quote from: "LaPalida"




"I can sum it all up in three words: Evolution is a lie"



hehe- It looks like Hovinid isn't the only one having trouble counting..... :lol:
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: gweathers on February 13, 2007, 02:13:32 AM
"Science is organized common sense where many a beautiful theory was killed by an ugly fact."

-Thomas Huxley

"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools."

-Douglas Adams

"We apologise for the inconvenience"

-God's Final Message to His Creation, written in letters of fire on the side of the Quentulus Quazgar Mountains, Sevorbeupstry, on planet Preliumtarn, Galactic Sector QQ7 Active J Gamma
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: folderol on February 13, 2007, 08:51:30 PM
Rather tangential to the topic, but my favorite t-shirt of all time:

STOP PLATE TECTONICS

I would get the best reactions from that shirt. People would either laugh knowingly, or ask "you can do that?"

I wore out that shirt. Gotta make another.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: mickal777 on February 15, 2007, 05:55:00 AM
I'd like to put mine on a T shirt...
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Samuel L on February 17, 2007, 12:34:55 PM
"Imagination abandoned by reason makes impossible monsters."

"In case of Rapture, can I have your car?"
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Riparian on February 18, 2007, 12:29:39 AM
Quote from: "LaPalida"
Here are some more quotes...ahem... not necessarily witty but definitely funny   :wink:

http://www.fstdt.com/"

The best(!):

"Once people begin thinking for themselves rather than repeating what some liberal professor told them at the University, evolution will go down the drain.  Its make belief."
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Samuel L on February 24, 2007, 09:48:44 AM
Can't forget-

"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side."
~Han Solo
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Henning on March 04, 2007, 01:57:37 AM
My Faves.

Carl Sagan: "The well-meaning contention that all ideas have equal merit seems to me little different from the disastrous contention that no ideas have any merit."

Stephen Jay Gould: "The most important scientific revolutions all include, as their only common feature, the dethronement of human arrogance from one pedestal after another of previous convictions about our centrality in the cosmos."

Johannes Kepler: "I give myself over to my rapture. I tremble; my blood leaps. God has waited 6000 years for a looker-on to His work."
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Henning on March 05, 2007, 12:12:55 AM
I'm sure someone has said this or something very similar before. Maybe Socrates or maybe Aristotle, but I can't verify it using Google. So I claim it tentatively for me!

"The only way to know anything is to doubt everything" -Henning KO (or maybe Socrates)
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Paul Ganssle on March 05, 2007, 08:10:03 AM
In Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure (your source for all historical needs), the following exchange took place (Lines may be somewhat off, as I am doing this from memory):

Ted: Socrates! I've heard that name before, look him up, dude.  I think it's under So-crates.
Bill:  So-crates - "The only true wisdom consists of knowing that you know nothing."
Ted: That's us, dude!
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Mike on March 05, 2007, 08:12:11 AM
"A few days, a year, what's the difference? It still proves I'm right." - IRON MAN
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Neutral Milk on March 05, 2007, 08:27:06 AM
So this contest started many months ago.. was there ever a prize given out? Or was this all some trick so that Bob wouldn't have to look too far to find a quote of the week?  :P
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Seneca on March 11, 2007, 01:40:10 AM
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.

(Elbert Hubbard)
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Winick88 on March 16, 2007, 10:35:00 PM
Quote from: "Al Franken"
But why would people so woefully lacking in basic facts of an issue think they were the best informed? Social scientists call the phenomenon "pseudo-certainty." I call it "being a fucking moron."

Quote from: "Jella Biafra"
If evolution is outlawed, only outlaws will evolve.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: gregkucharo on March 23, 2007, 12:42:09 AM
Here's a bunch of Frank Zappa quotes.

"Information doesn't kill you."

"The essence of Christianity is told to us in the Garden of Eden history. The fruit that was forbidden was on the Tree of Knowledge. The subtext is, All the suffering you have is because you wanted to find out what was going on. You could be in the Garden of Eden if you had just kept your fucking mouth shut and hadn't asked any questions."

"Scientology, how about that? You hold on to the tin cans and then this guy asks you a bunch of questions, and if you pay enough money you get to join the master race. How's that for a religion?"

"The person who stands up and says, 'This is stupid,' either is asked to behave or, worse, is greeted with a cheerful 'Yes, we know! Isn't it terrific!'

"Stupidity has a certain charm --ignorance does not."

"A mind is like a parachute. It doesnt work if it's not open."
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: flapbonwaller on March 27, 2007, 06:42:20 PM
If your God is all powerful then could he nuke a burrito so hot that he himself could not eat it?
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Samuel L on March 27, 2007, 07:56:39 PM
Quote from: "gregkucharo"
Here's a bunch of Frank Zappa quotes.

"Information doesn't kill you."

"The essence of Christianity is told to us in the Garden of Eden history. The fruit that was forbidden was on the Tree of Knowledge. The subtext is, All the suffering you have is because you wanted to find out what was going on. You could be in the Garden of Eden if you had just kept your fucking mouth shut and hadn't asked any questions."

"Scientology, how about that? You hold on to the tin cans and then this guy asks you a bunch of questions, and if you pay enough money you get to join the master race. How's that for a religion?"

"The person who stands up and says, 'This is stupid,' either is asked to behave or, worse, is greeted with a cheerful 'Yes, we know! Isn't it terrific!'

"Stupidity has a certain charm --ignorance does not."

"A mind is like a parachute. It doesnt work if it's not open."


One of my favorite Zappa quotes isn't regarding skepticism. It's about music critics: "Writing about music is like dancing about architecture."
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: flapbonwaller on March 28, 2007, 03:48:11 PM
"Me a skeptic?  I hope you have proof."
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Winick88 on March 29, 2007, 06:45:56 PM
This would make a perfect slogan:
Quote from: "Carl Sagan, [i
The Demon Haunted World[/i], p.30"]Try science.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: cosmicvagabond on March 29, 2007, 07:28:17 PM
Quote from: "Winick88"
This would make a perfect slogan:
Quote from: "Carl Sagan, [i
The Demon Haunted World[/i], p.30"]Try science.


Or how about:

Got Science?
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: IRON MAN on March 30, 2007, 05:12:58 AM
Quote from: "cosmicvagabond"
Quote from: "Winick88"
This would make a perfect slogan:
Quote from: "Carl Sagan, [i
The Demon Haunted World[/i], p.30"]Try science.


Or how about:

Got Science?


I think we have a winner ladies and gentleman.

Brilliant.  Absolutely brilliant.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: sheila on March 30, 2007, 03:18:54 PM
I love that one too, CV.  

So what happens now?  This "contest" has been going on so long that I am beginning to think we are supposed to buy our own T-shirt and make our own iron-ons!
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Winick88 on April 02, 2007, 05:08:10 PM
What about "Science rules!" by Bill Nye? I mean, it occurred to me that "Got Science?" sounds cool, and it's a parody of the Milk campaign, but I'd rather use a quote from a known voice in science/skepticism. Gnome sane?
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Neutral Milk on April 02, 2007, 05:15:56 PM
I hate to burst you guys' bubble but I think this contest is over. I'm skeptical there even was a contest in the first place.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Mike on April 02, 2007, 07:35:44 PM
I don't know about a contest, but Bob could pull some of the stuff from this thread for his skeptical quote of the week.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: cosmicvagabond on April 02, 2007, 08:36:05 PM
No no... I AM the winner... IRON MAN said so, and I respect his authoritaa!
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Mike on April 02, 2007, 08:53:37 PM
You just wanna win everything don't you? :)
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: cosmicvagabond on April 02, 2007, 09:06:25 PM
Quote from: "Mike"
You just wanna win everything don't you? :)


Alas, I shall never win the heart of the fair Rebecca... I have a truer love... MEAT!!  :wink:
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Apeiron on April 03, 2007, 07:00:21 AM
*Points at signature*

Too long and complicated I guess for a t-shirt.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: stickman on April 03, 2007, 09:36:27 AM
Quote from: "cosmicvagabond"


Alas, I shall never win the heart of the fair Rebecca... I have a truer love... MEAT!!  :wink:


CV, I have it on good authority that Rebecca's heart is, in fact, made of meat.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Samuel L on April 06, 2007, 02:20:12 PM
He who knows nothing is closer to the truth than he whose mind is filled with falsehoods and errors.

T.J.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: BenignVanilla on April 07, 2007, 01:17:33 PM
Am I too late? LOL.

How about...

E=MC2.

Nice job Albert. Next time show your work.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Jayhox on April 07, 2007, 01:27:46 PM
If you use "Got Science,"  what are you going to smear on the celebs' upper lips in the ad campaign?
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Samuel L on April 07, 2007, 01:45:26 PM
Quote from: "Jayhox"
If you use "Got Science,"  what are you going to smear on the celebs' upper lips in the ad campaign?


DNA
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Noah R. Miller on April 07, 2007, 08:33:47 PM
Quote from: "Smuel L"
Quote from: "Jayhox"
If you use "Got Science,"  what are you going to smear on the celebs' upper lips in the ad campaign?


DNA


BA-DUM-DUMP!


(how do you make that drum sound in text?)
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Jayhox on April 07, 2007, 10:59:17 PM
Quote from: "Smuel L"
Quote from: "Jayhox"
If you use "Got Science,"  what are you going to smear on the celebs' upper lips in the ad campaign?


DNA


Insert juvenile joke here.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Noah R. Miller on April 07, 2007, 11:12:29 PM
Quote from: "Jayhox"
Quote from: "Smuel L"
Quote from: "Jayhox"
If you use "Got Science,"  what are you going to smear on the celebs' upper lips in the ad campaign?


DNA


Insert juvenile joke here.


I thought that was the juvenile joke.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: chionactis on April 16, 2007, 10:51:05 PM
Continuing with the Got Milk spinoffs: "Got Evidence?"
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Ole Eivind on April 16, 2007, 10:56:30 PM
That's actually really good!
Title: Here's a cool motto for you guys
Post by: biffissimo on April 17, 2007, 09:15:54 AM
I didn't write this and I don't know where it comes from but.....


You've got answers?  We've got questions...
Title: time cube
Post by: dzelzkalns on April 23, 2007, 03:19:26 AM
Could you guys just put all the text from timecube.com on a t-shirt?  Make sure the part that says GREATEST THINKER is really big.

Also, anything that insults Anne Coulter would be great.
Title: time cube
Post by: dzelzkalns on April 23, 2007, 03:20:28 AM
/
Title: you cannot prove...
Post by: dzelzkalns on April 23, 2007, 03:23:47 AM
You cannot prove that invisible leprechauns riding massless rainbow-colored unicorns around the aura of my chi don't exist.
Title: you cannot prove...
Post by: dzelzkalns on April 23, 2007, 03:24:43 AM
/
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: MaureenAlthea on April 26, 2007, 07:20:52 PM
Without Skeptics, Science would fade into religion.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: jason on April 26, 2007, 07:24:09 PM
Quote from: "MaureenAlthea"
Without Skeptics, Science would fade into religion.

What a bizarre idea. Did someone actually say that?
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: MaureenAlthea on April 26, 2007, 07:35:16 PM
I myself said it
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: jason on April 26, 2007, 07:37:23 PM
Quote from: "MaureenAlthea"
I myself said it

Oh. I guess that means you believe it. Care to explain your reasoning?
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: MaureenAlthea on April 26, 2007, 07:51:39 PM
Religion, from what i can gather, is just a way to explain things one cannot understand. For a long time whatever a religion told it's believers to be true, was fact. Science explains the once unknown, but to stay true skeptics need to question and disect whatever claim is made.

So in a way skeptics keep science on it's toes. ^_^
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: jason on April 26, 2007, 08:10:15 PM
Quote from: "MaureenAlthea"
Religion, from what i can gather, is just a way to explain things one cannot understand. For a long time whatever a religion told it's believers to be true, was fact. Science explains the once unknown, but to stay true skeptics need to question and disect whatever claim is made.

Skepticism is effectively built into the scientific method. The process of peer review, the need to replicate results, the dropping of theories that have been falsified... these are all inherent to what practising scientists do. Science wouldn't be science if it wasn't like that.

Skeptics aren't keeping an eye on scientists, rather it's to call out those who make claims that aren't evidence-based. We use the results from science to support our position, because we trust the process by which those results are obtained.

So while it sounds good, it's not actually accurate.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: MaureenAlthea on April 26, 2007, 08:33:09 PM
I agree skepticism is built into the scientific method. Even though it is built into the scientific method, without it, any claim made by a "respectable" person would become fact.

I want to rephrase "keeping science on it's toes with" with:Skeptics regulate what becomes common knowlegde and what is disregareded based on accurate evidence.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: jason on April 26, 2007, 08:54:03 PM
Quote from: "MaureenAlthea"
I agree skepticism is built into the scientific method. Even though it is built into the scientific method, without it, any claim made by a "respectable" person would become fact.

Actually, the peer review process works by examining the work, not the person doing the work. I'm not really sure what you're getting at.
Quote from: "MaureenAlthea"
I want to rephrase "keeping science on it's toes with" with:Skeptics regulate what becomes common knowlegde and what is disregareded based on accurate evidence.

Better, though note that science doesn't need skeptics to propagate its results (not that you're saying that). Also, organised skepticism is a recent phenomenon, and really serves more to debunk frauds and true believer pseudo-scientists. Skeptics aren't trying to disseminate information, just to weed out bad information that comes from bad sources.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: MaureenAlthea on April 26, 2007, 09:10:50 PM
Quote from: "jason"
Quote from: "MaureenAlthea"
Religion, from what i can gather, is just a way to explain things one cannot understand. For a long time whatever a religion told it's believers to be true, was fact. Science explains the once unknown, but to stay true skeptics need to question and disect whatever claim is made.

Skepticism is effectively built into the scientific method. The process of peer review, the need to replicate results, the dropping of theories that have been falsified... these are all inherent to what practising scientists do. Science wouldn't be science if it wasn't like that.

Skeptics aren't keeping an eye on scientists, rather it's to call out those who make claims that aren't evidence-based. We use the results from science to support our position, because we trust the process by which those results are obtained.

So while it sounds good, it's not actually accurate.


The qoute was an interpretation of how I see skepticism. :mrgreen:
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: jason on April 26, 2007, 09:19:00 PM
Quote from: "MaureenAlthea"
The qoute was an interpretation of how I see skepticism. :mrgreen:

While you can (obviously!) believe what you like, isn't important to be as accurate as possible? That is what scientific skepticism is based on, after all. Not trying to be difficult (though I'm sure I'm succeeding anyway), but perhaps it'd be better if you were clearer about what skepticism is about?
Title: Nerds Gone Wild!
Post by: Winick88 on April 27, 2007, 01:13:11 AM
Quote from: "Carl Sagan, in [i
The Demon Haunted World, p.399[/i]"]Explanations that involve entities called quarks, charm, flavor, color, etc. sound as if physicists are being cute. The whole thing has an aura, in the view of at least some Congresspeople I've talked to, of "nerds gone wild"-- which I suppose is an uncharitable way of describing curiosity-based science.
Nerds Gone Wild!
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: chance on April 30, 2007, 06:03:04 PM
I am rather fond of my signature text.  

Quote
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.


As far as I am able to determine the author remains anonymous, I first heard it used on Australian radio (ABC).
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: jason on May 01, 2007, 04:38:22 AM
Quote from: "chance"
As far as I am able to determine the author remains anonymous, I first heard it used on Australian radio (ABC).

What was the show? Was it Robyn Williams on one of the shows that he hosts?
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Targetta on May 01, 2007, 05:04:53 AM
Dear God,

If we are created perfectly,
why does size matter?
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: chance on May 01, 2007, 06:02:10 PM
Quote from: "jason"
Quote from: "chance"
As far as I am able to determine the author remains anonymous, I first heard it used on Australian radio (ABC).

What was the show? Was it Robyn Williams on one of the shows that he hosts?


It was a year(ish) ago (on a Sunday I think), and the presenter was female. She stated that the quote was anonymous.
That’s about the best I can do.

A fellow Brisbanite is see, when things get a bit quite, perhaps we should talk about the glorious weather we have here (ignoring the drought) as the northern hemisphere winter sets in, should win us some friends in the forum.  :lol:
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Toby Beau on May 02, 2007, 12:51:30 PM
There was a wonderful quote I heard from... I believe he is the "Biggest Douche in the Universe"... he said:
Quote

"Sometimes I get it right, sometimes I get it wrong... but I ALWAYS get it."


I suppose you could twist that around to be some sort of skeptical quote...

Quote
"Sometimes you can fool people into thinking you're right, sometimes the rest of us see that you're clearly wrong... but you ALWAYS piss us the hell off you stupid douchbag!"


Yeah, that's my skeptical quote.
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Cesar on May 30, 2007, 04:10:24 PM
Quote from: "Jay"
Do you have any skeptically minded sayings or quotes that you think are really funny and or witty?  Post them here and on an upcoming show we will pick one or more of your submissions and award the winner with something...I don’t know...maybe a date with Rebecca or a meat based meal with Perry.  

Why are we doing this??  Because we want to put the best of your entries on merchandise like hats, shirts, mugs, laser guns, robots...well maybe not mugs but you get the idea.  If your entry gets selected you will also be so much cooler than everyone else here on the board so enter now...enter often.


"Were reincarnation scientific fact, it would have already passed more tests than Einstein's Theory of Relativity."

You might like it, Jay... dunno. I just came up with it on another post.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: redhotrebel on May 31, 2007, 12:51:37 PM
Deleted.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Noah R. Miller on May 31, 2007, 01:07:52 PM
from him to you?
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: redhotrebel on May 31, 2007, 01:12:43 PM
Deleted.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Noah R. Miller on May 31, 2007, 01:50:58 PM
I love the "I'll get married to a dude I don't know beyond the fact that he's the worlds coolest smartass but he has to ask me otherwise it just wouldnt be proper" attitude.


It's very chic.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Leonard Black on May 31, 2007, 08:25:39 PM
"Love can only move mountains if you looove plate tectonics!"
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: False.cut on June 01, 2007, 01:03:36 AM
In response to a Religious proselytiser getting upset at my dismissal of his/her arguments.

"Forgive me"

Taken from Bill Hicks.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: redhotrebel on June 02, 2007, 05:28:47 PM
Deleted.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Skulker on June 04, 2007, 09:13:30 PM
From another famous Watson  "THINK!"  but they would probably sue you if you used it.
Has anyone mentioned:
 "Don't believe anything you hear and only half of what you see." ?

While not exactly skeptical two of my favorite bumper stickers ...

"Evolutionists do it with increasing complexity!"    

and

"I give evolution two opposable thumbs up!"
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: IRON MAN on June 08, 2007, 03:53:22 AM
(http://img248.imageshack.us/img248/5130/skepticsgonewildcz9.jpg)

Skepticism - come for the logic, stay for the chicks.
Title: I love Quotes!
Post by: Maria_Gaetana_Agnesi on June 20, 2007, 10:38:48 AM
"I hate life, I hate death, and everthing in between just doesn't interest me."
--Chris Repier

"Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - either by themselves or by others."
--Mark Twain

"You can't reason someone out of something they didn't reason themselves into in the first place."
--Novella (I Think...)

"Many brilliant things have never been written down due to the lack of a good pen."
--Yours truly

"An optimist is someone who starts a crossword puzzle with a pen."
--anonymous

"Since when was Genius found respectable?"
--Elizabeth Barrett Browning (Aurora Lieigh)

"If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be called Research."
--Albert Einstein

"Speak the truth, but leave immediately after."
--Slovenian Proverb

"There was never a Genius without a tincture of madness."
--Aristotle

"I don't know if God exists but it would be better for his reputation if he didn't."
--Jules Renard

"Ancora Imparo."
--Michealangelo
Title: Me again!
Post by: Maria_Gaetana_Agnesi on June 20, 2007, 10:51:03 AM
"I disaprove what you are saying, but will fight to the grave your right to say it."
--Voltaire

"One never sees what has to be done, one can only see what remains to be done."
--Marie Curie

"Great minds discuss ideas
 Average minds discuss events
 And Weak minds discuss people"
--Eleanor Roosevelt

"He who will not reason is a bigot, he who cannot is a fool, and he who dares not is a slave."
--William Drummond
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Mark7300 on June 20, 2007, 11:15:09 AM
There is no god. Now stop whining about it. - me.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: heliocentricra on June 20, 2007, 01:39:07 PM
This might have been posted before:

"Be open-minded, but not so open-minded that your brain falls out."

(paraphrased from Richard Dawkins to make it more t-shirt-friendly)
Title: Simpson's Quotes:
Post by: mathgeek on June 27, 2007, 10:42:54 PM
Homer: Oh, good.  Reverend Lovejoy will make Marge take me back!
              He _has_ to push the sanctity of marriage, or his God will
              punish him!
               [inside]
Rev. Lovejoy: Get a divorce.
Mrs. Lovejoy: Mmm hm.
       Marge: But isn't that a sin?
Rev. Lovejoy: Marge, _everything_ is a sin.  You ever sat down and read
              this thing?  [holds up a bible] Technically, we're not
              allowed to go to the bathroom.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: wormhole on June 28, 2007, 07:23:41 AM
Hi G&G, I picked this up during a talk by Marlys Witte at the 13th International Conference on Thinking in Norrkoping Sweden last week.  Her talk centered on the idea that what we do not know is far more important than what we do and that asking the right question is far more important than any answer.  She said that Albert Einstein was the author of the single best question ever asked (for multiple reasons):

"What time is it?"

Best, wormhole
Title: Political Quote
Post by: mathgeek on July 04, 2007, 09:43:27 AM
You're Pro-life ?
That's Fine.
Now Get One and Stay Out of Mine.

From a Bumpersticker.
Title: entry
Post by: marc on July 05, 2007, 01:34:55 PM
I prayed to God and all I got was this t-shirt.  (or mug, or koozie, etc.)
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Guitaristicny on July 07, 2007, 01:33:56 AM
"Oh Yeah?, is not an argument for Intelligent Design"
Title: Re: Simpson's Quotes:
Post by: Guitaristicny on July 07, 2007, 01:35:21 AM
Quote from: "mathgeek"
Homer: Oh, good.  Reverend Lovejoy will make Marge take me back!
              He _has_ to push the sanctity of marriage, or his God will
              punish him!
               [inside]
Rev. Lovejoy: Get a divorce.
Mrs. Lovejoy: Mmm hm.
       Marge: But isn't that a sin?
Rev. Lovejoy: Marge, _everything_ is a sin.  You ever sat down and read
              this thing?  [holds up a bible] Technically, we're not
              allowed to go to the bathroom.


Haha that reminded me of another lovejoy quote "Ned, have you ever thought of one of the other major religions, they are all pretty much the same"
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: parazite on July 10, 2007, 03:12:38 PM
I would like to throw one of my favorite quotes in, I odn't know if it has been posted befre, but here it is

"Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able?
     Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing?
     Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing?
     Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing?
     Then why call him God?"
                      -Epicurus c.300 B.C.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Kwisatz Haderach on July 10, 2007, 03:15:11 PM
Quote from: "parazite"
I would like to throw one of my favorite quotes in, I odn't know if it has been posted befre, but here it is

"Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able?
     Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing?
     Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing?
     Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing?
     Then why call him God?"
                      -Epicurus c.300 B.C.


If I believed in God (which I don't -- but if did), I would believe in the first one, the one which is not omnipotent (as per Process Theology).
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Twackius on July 16, 2007, 02:39:16 AM
"To my darling Candy, all characters portrayed in this book are fictitious and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental."
-The missing first page of the bible, Red Dwarf.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Samuel L on July 16, 2007, 08:15:50 AM
Just heard this from a judge on "The Practice:"

"A mind is like a wound. If it's too open it will get infected."
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: nasagirl on July 16, 2007, 04:22:39 PM
Not really a quote on skepticism but works for quacks...

He/She doesn't have issues, they have a whole damn subscription!
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Jerad on July 22, 2007, 05:10:12 AM
How about: Save the whales, Jesus was a mammal too!
Title: Original saying...I think!
Post by: kg2007 on August 03, 2007, 09:45:22 PM
Yes Virginia, there is a Prince Charming.
Title: quotable quote
Post by: Jerad on August 05, 2007, 07:34:12 PM
How about: if a tree falls in a forest and there's no one there to hear how do you know it fell?
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Skram on August 07, 2007, 10:42:17 AM
Science is my copilot.

It there is intelligent design, then why us?

The SGU is my belief.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: johnny red on August 07, 2007, 11:47:35 AM
Here's one:

98% Chimp
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: pacman on August 08, 2007, 01:12:42 AM
I became inspired one morning and, well...

(I have no idea if these have been posted before)

•   Science is to fact as pseudoscience is to...
•   Science is to truth as ape is to human (they both come first)
•   Scientific religion: the meeting of a fact/anti-fact pair in an explosion of stupidity
•   My bullshit sense is tingling
•   A psychic a day keeps my reason at bay
•    (Don't blame me) I believe in Santa Claus and Bigfoot
•   Santa = Bigfoot. QED.
•   [or] Bigfoot = alien/ET. QED.
•   So if ESP isn't real, how does Santa write his list, huh?
•   Skeptic seeking same
•   Skeptic seeking clairvoyant: but you already knew that
•   You're disturbing my skeptical aura
•   The aliens are having a party. Bigfoot's passed out on the couch.
•   I eat cereologists for breakfast
•   Admit one: alien abduction
•   My faith is small because I'm not compensating
•   Skeptics don't need faith to compensate
•   My skeptic's brain compensates for your larger fallacy
•   That's a big fallacy. Are you compensating for something?
•   Skeptics do it better (think that is)
•   I think therefore I am (a skeptic)
•   You're right, I can read your mind. You're an idiot.
•   Oops, it seems I ran over your dogma
•   Why do bad things never happen to skeptics?
•   Skepticism helps me ward off: alien probes, demonic possession, curses, ghosts and idiots.
•   My homeopath is so good it tastes just like water.
•   Miracle cures [or clairvoyants] work! Even when they don't.
•   So you're offering a cure with no theory or evidence? Have all my money!
•   Pseudoscience: you will never find a more wretched hive of sum and villainy.

I know you guys steer away from the outwardly atheist approach but I couldn't help myself:

•   Religion: a case of the tale wagging the dogma
•   Atheism: good for the soul
•   Atheists are (super)naturally detoxed
•   Don't blame me, I'm religious
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Jaime on August 08, 2007, 04:47:49 PM
Although I'm afraid the contest is likely over by now, I'm quite fond of the following quote from Rebecca:

I won't breed with any of the true believers.

I'd proudly wear such a declaration!  You could add one of those no-smoking type red circles but replace the cigarette with two stick figures doing the nasty.  Ha!
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: sheila on August 08, 2007, 07:15:18 PM
From one of the opening pages of the book: Forty Days and Forty Nights: Darwin, ID, God, Oxycontin, and Other Oddities on Trial in Pennsylvania by Matthew Chapman

I will cause it to rain upon the earth forty days and forty nights, and every living substance that I have made will I destroy from off the face of the earth
-God, speaking in Genesis

By my reckoning, this is the fortieth day since the trial began and tonight will be the fortieth night, and I would like to know if you did that on purpose?
-Patrick Gillen, attorney in Kitzmiller v. Dover, speaking to the judge

Mr. Gillen, that is an interesting coincidence, but it was not by design.
-Judge John Jones

____________________________

Judge Jones rocks.  (The book was pretty good too.)
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: LaPalida on August 08, 2007, 10:47:21 PM
My carma run over your dogma :P
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: pacman on August 12, 2007, 08:40:09 PM
Quote from: "LaPalida"
My carma run over your dogma :P


 :D  Nice one
Title: PICK-ME*********PICK-ME**********PICK-ME********PICK-ME*****
Post by: MichiganWOlVERINE7 on August 14, 2007, 01:03:50 AM
Proof equals nothing.

Come on, I know it sucks but I REALLY need this date!!!
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Drunken Idaho on August 23, 2007, 07:42:25 PM
It's not all that skeptical... but I love the quote:

"Humanity has advanced--when it has advanced--not because it has been sober, responsible, and cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature." -Tom Robbins
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: nativeflame on September 25, 2007, 11:17:20 PM
How about a picture of Tom Cruise from Jerry Maguire
shouting, "Show me the Evidence!"
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Neutral Milk on September 26, 2007, 02:44:47 AM
Quote from: "nativeflame"
How about a picture of Tom Cruise from Jerry Maguire
shouting, "Show me the Evidence!"


Tom Cruise: Face of skepticism?
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: SpecialeEdd on September 28, 2007, 09:13:05 PM
To some skepticism is the light, to others, it's evidence for evil.

I Win :D
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: fenestella on October 01, 2007, 08:32:04 PM
(Picture the crying Indian...)
"People start religion...science can stop it"
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: SpecialeEdd on October 03, 2007, 07:38:35 AM
Quote from: "fenestella"
(Picture the crying Indian...)
"People start religion...science can stop it"


people started science too
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: llarryw on October 05, 2007, 12:33:19 AM
" Always in search of....

   ...... a Skepchick"

   not a sketical quote, but it would make a great t-shirt.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Johnny Fahrenheit on October 05, 2007, 06:00:52 PM
"God v Santa: At least Santa leaves presents."

"God v Santa: We know what Santa looks like."

"If you see Dylan Avery, tell him I hate him."

"Skeptics: Rite About Everything."

"Homoeopathy: Diluting The Truth Only Makes It Stronger."
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Eaten Back To Life on October 08, 2007, 11:33:44 AM
How about some Zappa?
Stupidity is the basic building block of the universe.
                                  or
Without deviation from the norm, 'progress' is not possible.
                                  or
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
 Or how about some Hunter S. Thompson?
      “Call on God, but row away from the rocks.”
                                and
Paranoia is just another word for ignorance.
                               or
Myths and legends die hard in America. We love them for the extra dimension they provide, the illusion of near-infinite possibility to erase the narrow confines of most men's reality. Weird heroes and mould-breaking champions exist as living proof to those who need it that the tyranny of the rat race is not yet final.
             
One last one from Chris Robinson of The Black Crowes,
       "I don't trust no one who don't take their own advise."
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: parallellines on October 09, 2007, 02:09:05 AM
Skepticism, It's spelt with a K god dammit!

(P.S. this is coming from a Canadian too)
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: nativeflame on October 11, 2007, 10:14:23 PM
Quote from: "Neutral Milk"
Quote from: "nativeflame"
How about a picture of Tom Cruise from Jerry Maguire
shouting, "Show me the Evidence!"


Tom Cruise: Face of skepticism?


Would be a nice ironic twist though wouldn't it?

How about simply, "GET REAL"
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Rissa on October 20, 2007, 03:48:36 PM
I heard this the other day, it'd be great for a t-shirt, mug whatever

"...circular reasoning works because..." (repeat reading for effect)

Printed in a circle


If this isn't new, sorry, I didn't read all 14 pages of this thread.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: simonthepoorpsychologist on January 23, 2008, 06:09:57 AM
I thought the quote was

"insanity is doing the same thing twice expecting different results"

???
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: David "Stubb" Oswald on January 26, 2008, 11:45:53 PM
Sorry if anyone else posted any of these, I am too lazy to check.

If Scooby-Doo taught me anything it’s that the only thing to fear are crooked real estate developers.
-Lisa Simpson

Believe whatever you want. But, if you want me to believe it, provide evidence or expect mockery.
-Pat Condell

Incompetence is always the most likely and probable explanation.
-Steven Novella M.D.

I toy around with the whole Biblical thing, just as amazing characters. What I've read, in terms of the Bible and shit, is that Satan's this super-charming guy who'll come off sweet as sugar, and that if you run into him, he'll try and fool you into thinking he's God. From all of that, wouldn't that probably make God the devil, if he's such a good liar? I can't think of any really horrendous shit that's been caused by the character Satan, but man, God's got quite a few smitings under his belt. But science, science is great. I love science. With any luck, it'll save us all.
-Issac Brock

Our souls are like those orphans whose unwed mothers die in bearing them: the secret of our paternity lies in their grave, and we must there to learn it.
-Herman Melville

Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: yassensei on February 11, 2008, 05:13:57 PM
Not exactly skeptical (and obviously very late on this topic), but one that i really like--and one that fits a lot of fundidiots.

"Stupidity isn't a crime. Being proud of it should be."
-Attributed to Linda Ellerbee.
Title: Tempted to post this in my office at work...
Post by: Trisomy21 on March 01, 2008, 07:52:00 PM
Ignorance is not evidence
-Me
Title: Quote
Post by: Skeptical Soldier on March 03, 2008, 11:28:06 PM
"Political correctness is tyranny with manners."
- Charlton Heston (1924-)
Title: quote
Post by: Skeptical Soldier on March 03, 2008, 11:35:43 PM
"I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have."
- Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826)
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Evil Eye on March 03, 2008, 11:36:09 PM
God negates Himself when his followers argue that life can't "be" into existence.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: LaPalida on March 04, 2008, 12:06:09 AM
Quote from: "David Oswald"

Incompetence is always the most likely and probable explanation.
-Steven Novella M.D.


That's somewhat like:

"Never assume malice where simple incompetence will do."
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Evil Eye on March 04, 2008, 12:12:03 AM
My shoes can't be on the wrong feet... These are the only feet I have.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Kurt on March 04, 2008, 01:19:50 AM
Quote from: "Evil Eye"
My shoes can't be on the wrong feet... These are the only feet I have.


I need a new ass. Mine is cracked.
Title: Bertrand Russell vs. William James' woo
Post by: skepticus on March 07, 2008, 07:42:11 PM
"What is wanted is not the will to believe, but the will to find out, which is the exact opposite." - Bertrand Russell

"There's a seeker born every minute." - Fireside Theatre

"It's tough to make predictions. Especially about the future." - possibly attributable to Neils Bohr; who may have lifted it from someone else.

"Nature done it." - me
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: GodEmperorOfHell on March 07, 2008, 09:02:00 PM
Some jewels from the Principia Discordia: I believe they might come from more than one source:

I hold the firm belief one must not hold deep beliefs.

Do not believe what you read.

Do not call up that which you cannot put on hold.

f at first you don't succeed, try following the instructions.

A live body and a dead body contain the same number of particles. Structurally, there's no discernible difference. Life and death are unquantifiable abstracts. Why should I be concerned?

The quickest way to a man's heart is through his ribcage.


Okay, everybody in this room who's telekinetic, raise my hand.


The Rule of Fives states that all things happen in fives, or are divisible by or are multiples of five, or are somehow directly or indirectly related to five. The Rule of Fives is never wrong.


Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

Dying can be hazardous to your health.

Most people do not know how to behave in a massacre.

Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced.

Laugh, and the world ignores you. Crying doesn't help either.

Do not take life too seriously; you will never get out of it alive.

To criticize the incompetent is easy; to criticize the competent is difficult.

Wonders never cease, as long as you never cease to wonder.

A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a Unicorn.

What poor gods we do make.

No man is an island, but then no man is a potato salad, either.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: lssilva on March 08, 2008, 02:41:26 AM
One that I liked from the novel "The Master and Margarita" by Mikhail Bulgakov is:

The truth is the most stubborn thing in the world


I am not sure if there is another source for this.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Evil Eye on March 08, 2008, 07:40:20 AM
Trees don't grow up. They grow down, AND up.

They must first establish the roots of their existence, and then build the rest on that foundation.
Title: My Original Idea (Not Actually a Quote)
Post by: GodKillzYou on March 12, 2008, 12:55:08 PM
I've come up with a new invention for "religious" people. It's called an Automatic Forgiveness Device. It could change (revolutionize!) the way we think about prayer!

http://godkillzyou.wordpress.com/2008/03/10/modern-day-christian-technology-my-invention/
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: jeffthefish on March 12, 2008, 05:22:36 PM
Evolution explains the facts.  Creationism explains them away.

- Jason J Brunet (me!)
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: lebowski35 on March 14, 2008, 08:20:34 PM
I sat on a bee the other day and said Ouch! or did the bee say it, I don't remember.
Title: not too funny, but a touch of wit, perhaps?
Post by: brightbaby on March 20, 2008, 10:20:10 PM
A favorite poem of mine is by Emily Dickinson.

Tell all the truth but tell it slant,
Success in circuit lies,
Too bright for our infirm delight
The truth's superb surprise;

As lightning to the children eased
With explanation kind,
The truth must dazzle gradually
Or every man be blind.
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Aweirdly on April 04, 2008, 09:43:46 AM
"Suspicion builds confidence." or it might be "Suspicion breeds confidence."

Sign hanging on a wall in the movie BRAZIL
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: positivecontrol on April 05, 2008, 12:22:05 AM
Many people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so. --- Bertrand Russell

I didn't jump. I took a tiny step, and there conclusions were.  --- Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Title: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Serj on April 06, 2008, 11:50:53 PM
If there is a god, why hasn't he smited me yet?
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Galactus on May 07, 2008, 11:20:00 PM
I find your logical fallicies disturbing (using your best darth vader voice)




Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: kookbreaker on May 12, 2008, 09:50:56 PM
The Truth is out there, but the speculation is way, way out there.


Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: fishshtick on May 14, 2008, 01:14:55 AM
Here's my personal best in the double meaning category:

"If you don't support evolution please don't contribute"

or the shorter version:

"Critics of evolution need not contribute"
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: grenangle on May 18, 2008, 05:59:30 AM
I keep a collection of homemade screensavers with quotes I like.  Here are the ones short enough to fit on a t-shirt.

Reality is that which, when you cease to believe, continues to exist (don't know author)

Your god is too small (Phil Plait, speaking brilliantly at TAM4)

The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one (George Bernard Shaw)

Religions find miracles in gods
Scientists find miracles everywhere (don't know author)
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: The Truth Pirate on May 19, 2008, 12:36:30 PM
The first list is long and will most likely be appended.

First the original stuff
A book's age does not determine it's accuracy.
-~-
I'd rather be blinded by science than faith.
-~-
What's so intelligent about Intelligent Design anyway?
-~-
Old Rule: Those who don't believe in God, don't get into Heaven.
New Rule: Those who don't believe in evolution don't get to evolve.
-~-
Imagine if all the time spent in prayer, was actually spent helping humanity.
-~-
Faith is the disease, science is the cure.
-~-
You've got 10 seconds to choose and the wrong answer will kill you.
Evolution or Creationism
Time's up.
-~-
One of these things isn't complete and utter nonsense. Which is it.
Astronomy
ESP
Homeopathy
Religion
Science
-~-
Being skeptical demonstrates my intelligence.
-~-
I'm not a dumb-ass, are you?
Listen to The Skeptics Guide 
-~-
Either you're part of the solution or part of the problem.
Quit being part of the problem and listen to The Skeptics Guide.

Now for the not-so-original
I heard this one somewhere but don't recall where.
Religion is a shorcut to thinking.
-~-
George Carlan said something like this:
god is all powerful, all knowing and all wise. He just happens to be really, really bad with money.
-~-
Sam Harris (http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Sam_Harris)
Religious faith is the one species of human ignorance that will not admit of even the possibility of correction.
-~-
Sam Harris (http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Sam_Harris)
We must find our way to a time when faith, without evidence, disgraces anyone who would claim it.
-~-
Sam Harris (http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Sam_Harris)
How do we know that our holy books are free from error? Because the books themselves say so.
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: conficiendo on May 25, 2008, 03:02:14 PM
GO AHEAD PROVE ME WRONG!! I'LL STILL DENY IT!!

as was said by me at a barbeque and intoxicated

wait......that's not skeptical at all oh well
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: AlunMurch on May 25, 2008, 03:15:44 PM
How about,

"If we didn't evolve, then I'm a monkey's uncle!"
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: missinformation on May 26, 2008, 02:05:54 PM
haha...some funny stuff on here


here's mine:

"if Jesus were alive, he wouldnt be christian."
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: gebobs on May 27, 2008, 12:07:24 PM
Proof is for mathematicians and moonshiners.

(in response to whenever someone says that a theory e.g. evolution is not proven)
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Kwisatz Haderach on May 27, 2008, 12:43:45 PM
haha...some funny stuff on here


here's mine:

"if Jesus were alive, he wouldnt be christian."

The problem is, that quote is equally appealing to most Christians.
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Paulhoff on May 27, 2008, 01:10:36 PM
haha...some funny stuff on here


here's mine:

"if Jesus were alive, he wouldnt be christian."

The problem is, that quote is equally appealing to most Christians.
here's mine,

Jesus wouldn't be a Republican.

Paul

 :)  :)  :)
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Kwisatz Haderach on May 27, 2008, 01:19:37 PM
haha...some funny stuff on here


here's mine:

"if Jesus were alive, he wouldnt be christian."

The problem is, that quote is equally appealing to most Christians.
here's mine,

Jesus wouldn't be a Republican.

Paul

 :)  :)  :)

What's weird about hat one is that while there are many people who admire Jesus as a heroic mythological character, there are others who take the fundamentalist version of Jesus literally, and therefore despise him as a hate-mongering despot.  So, it is unclear whether that is meant to be insulting to or complimentary to Republicans.
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Paulhoff on May 27, 2008, 03:06:51 PM
haha...some funny stuff on here


here's mine:

"if Jesus were alive, he wouldnt be christian."

The problem is, that quote is equally appealing to most Christians.
here's mine,

Jesus wouldn't be a Republican.

Paul

 :)  :)  :)

What's weird about hat one is that while there are many people who admire Jesus as a heroic mythological character, there are others who take the fundamentalist version of Jesus literally, and therefore despise him as a hate-mongering despot.  So, it is unclear whether that is meant to be insulting to or complimentary to Republicans.
So, are you a Republican...............?

Paul

 :)  :)  :)
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Kwisatz Haderach on May 27, 2008, 03:21:48 PM
haha...some funny stuff on here


here's mine:

"if Jesus were alive, he wouldnt be christian."

The problem is, that quote is equally appealing to most Christians.
here's mine,

Jesus wouldn't be a Republican.

Paul

 :)  :)  :)

What's weird about hat one is that while there are many people who admire Jesus as a heroic mythological character, there are others who take the fundamentalist version of Jesus literally, and therefore despise him as a hate-mongering despot.  So, it is unclear whether that is meant to be insulting to or complimentary to Republicans.

So, are you a Republican...............?

Paul

 :)  :)  :)

No, I'm a Christian!  :P
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Paulhoff on May 27, 2008, 04:07:32 PM
haha...some funny stuff on here


here's mine:

"if Jesus were alive, he wouldnt be christian."

The problem is, that quote is equally appealing to most Christians.
here's mine,

Jesus wouldn't be a Republican.

Paul

 :)  :)  :)

What's weird about hat one is that while there are many people who admire Jesus as a heroic mythological character, there are others who take the fundamentalist version of Jesus literally, and therefore despise him as a hate-mongering despot.  So, it is unclear whether that is meant to be insulting to or complimentary to Republicans.

So, are you a Republican...............?

Paul

 :)  :)  :)

No, I'm a Christian!  :P
I feel sorry for you, oh well

Paul

 :)  :)  :)
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Kwisatz Haderach on May 27, 2008, 04:09:26 PM
haha...some funny stuff on here


here's mine:

"if Jesus were alive, he wouldnt be christian."

The problem is, that quote is equally appealing to most Christians.
here's mine,

Jesus wouldn't be a Republican.

Paul

 :)  :)  :)

What's weird about hat one is that while there are many people who admire Jesus as a heroic mythological character, there are others who take the fundamentalist version of Jesus literally, and therefore despise him as a hate-mongering despot.  So, it is unclear whether that is meant to be insulting to or complimentary to Republicans.

So, are you a Republican...............?

Paul

 :)  :)  :)

No, I'm a Christian!  :P
I feel sorry for you, oh well

Paul

 :)  :)  :)

What's with the

Quote
Paul

 :)  :)  :)

at the bottom of all your posts?
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Paulhoff on May 27, 2008, 11:34:06 PM
What's with not putting them at the end of yours?

Paul

 :)  :)  :)
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Kwisatz Haderach on May 28, 2008, 12:39:25 AM
What's with not putting them at the end of yours?

Paul

 :)  :)  :)

 :P :P :P
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Tai Fung on May 28, 2008, 01:09:30 PM

 :)  :)  :)

 :P :P :P

I'm still trying to find the thread where everyone suddenly got to have Febo's background picture in their avatars . . .

 ??? ??? ???
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: wastrel on May 30, 2008, 08:06:36 PM

 :)  :)  :)

 :P :P :P

I'm still trying to find the thread where everyone suddenly got to have Febo's background picture in their avatars . . .

 ??? ??? ???

I think it has something to do with people's sex lives in some cases and photoshop in others.

;) ;) ;)
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: MissButterfly on June 19, 2008, 12:00:45 PM
hi Skeptics

I really hope I don't duplicate any slogans, here goes;

"You do not need the bible to justify love, but no better tool has been invented to justify hate."
--Richard A. Weatherwax

When the Rapture comes, can I have your car?

Honk If Your Religious Beliefs Make You An Asshole

You Say "Heretic" Like It Was a BAD Thing

If God Wanted People to Believe in Him, Then Why Did He Invent Logic?

From the Friendly Athiest

Evolve: The other fish doesn’t have a leg to stand on


My Absolute favorite
Jesus saves - and takes half damage!

Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: susande on June 19, 2008, 07:05:52 PM
hi Skeptics

I really hope I don't duplicate any slogans, here goes;

"You do not need the bible to justify love, but no better tool has been invented to justify hate."
--Richard A. Weatherwax

When the Rapture comes, can I have your car?

Honk If Your Religious Beliefs Make You An Asshole

You Say "Heretic" Like It Was a BAD Thing

If God Wanted People to Believe in Him, Then Why Did He Invent Logic?

From the Friendly Athiest

Evolve: The other fish doesn’t have a leg to stand on


My Absolute favorite
Jesus saves - and takes half damage!


These are Atheist (or anti-Christian) quotes though. :p
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Galactus on June 20, 2008, 11:40:20 PM
   What a fool believes, he sees, no wise man has the power to reason away.       Michael McDonald



no emoticon necessary
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Eguy on June 21, 2008, 03:54:22 PM
Not sure if these would be good quotes on SGU shirts and etc... but they are still sweet.

"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use."
- Galileo Galilei

Or a really creep one....

"The great masses of the people... will more easily fall victims to a big lie than to a small one."
- Adolf Hitler

Or

"There is a single light of science and to brighten it anywhere is to brighten it everywhere."
- Isaac Asimov

or

"There is no wealth like knowledge, no poverty like ignorance."
- Ali ibn Abi-Talib

or

"Ture education is knowing ones own ignorance"

Thank goodness for Civilization 4 and it’s awesome quotes
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: iPatch on July 10, 2008, 10:41:29 PM
Hi, Jay. Long time listener, first time caller...

The first two of my favorites are from the famous:
- "Madness is rare in individuals - but in groups, parties, nations, and ages it is the rule."   -- Friedrich Nietzsche
- "All of our reasoning ends in surrender to feeling."  -- Blaise Pascal (He of Pascal's famous wager, to which I can think of at least 3 rebuttals -- another time)

The final two are from an evangelical pastor firiend of mine:
- "It's not really deception unless you know it's not true." (I'll let you guess as to the conversation that led up to that remark. Caused me to invent the phrase "ignorception")
- "There are things that can be true for which there is no evidence."

Not t-shirt sort of stuff but you may get a kick out of these nonetheless.
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: JessieColt on July 11, 2008, 08:37:51 PM
"As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

Spoken by Timo Cruz in the movie Coach Carter.
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Louie on July 19, 2008, 03:47:43 AM
Paraphrasing Laplace:

"I have no need of your hypothesis."
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: DiabolicalAsparagus on July 20, 2008, 01:08:09 AM
I'd like to quote a few words from Bill Maher:


."if you believe in Judgment Day, I have to seriously question your judgment."

."Gods are like shampoos. You have to change yours every once in a while or else they stop working. That's right, everyone who thanks God for their good luck must get to know last week's big lottery winner, Bunky Bartlett. He's a Wiccan, which means he worships the sun and the moon... And now he's $48 million richer. If that's not God saying, "Let's try a new position to keep things fresh," I don't know what is."

."It just seems pathetic to be so insecure about your biological superiority, to a group of feces-flinging, rouge-buttocked monkeys,  that you have to make up fairy tales. Like we came from Adam and Eve, and then cover stories for Adam and Eve like, intelligent design. Yeah, leaving the Earth in the hands of two naked teenagers. That's a real intelligent design...
If Thomas Jefferson knew we were blurring the line this much between church and state, he would turn over in his slave. Now as for me, I believe in evolution and intelligent design. I think God designed us in his image, but I also think God is a monkey! God bless you and goodnight!"
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: jedischooldropout on July 20, 2008, 12:53:16 PM
Do you recall the (thankfully) short lived fashion trend from the mid-80s (I think Wham! was responsible) of white t-shirts with big black block lettering that said things like "Choose Life" and "Drug Free Body?"

I had one made years later that said:

"Drug Free Body Religion Free Mind."

I loved that shit.  I think I may have to have a new one made.

I should post a picture.  But I'm lazy from all the drugs.

Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: chance on July 21, 2008, 07:36:23 AM
I doubt, therefore, I think.
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: OhAncientOne on July 23, 2008, 04:24:14 AM
I doubt, therefore, I think.
I think, therefore I doubt... I think.
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: TheGreatRedDragon on July 31, 2008, 10:59:54 AM
"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has ever tried to contact us."

--Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes  (strangely enough my name is Calvin, too)

And here are some images pulled from Macrochan's "negative: religion" group (http://macrochan.org/search.py?tag=Negative%3AReligion).  **WARNING** NWS - and some of the images can be pretty disturbing. **WARNING**
(http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g259/reddragon8429/biblebusted.jpg)
(http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g259/reddragon8429/bibledeaths.jpg)
(http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g259/reddragon8429/biblelabel.jpg)
(http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g259/reddragon8429/bibleposter.jpg)
(http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g259/reddragon8429/christianityposter.jpg)
(http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g259/reddragon8429/crossword.jpg)
(http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g259/reddragon8429/invisibleresearch.jpg)
(http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g259/reddragon8429/occamsrazor.jpg)
(http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g259/reddragon8429/redundancy.jpg)
(http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g259/reddragon8429/santajesus.jpg)
(http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g259/reddragon8429/trash.png)
(http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g259/reddragon8429/windowslogic.png)
(http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g259/reddragon8429/worldwithoutreligion.jpg)
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Biohazard on July 31, 2008, 11:34:35 PM
The skeptic does not mean him who doubts, but him who investigates or researches, as opposed to him who asserts and thinks that he has found.
Miguel de Unamuno (1864–1936), Spanish philosophical writer. Essays and Soliloquies, “My Religion” (1924).

If I am fool, it is, at least, a doubting one; and I envy no one the certainty of his self-approved wisdom.
Lord Byron (1788–1824), English poet. Byron’s Letters and Journals, vol. 3 (ed. by Leslie A. Marchand, 1974), entry for 27 Nov. 1813.

I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure— that is all that agnosticism means.
Clarence Darrow (1857–1938), U.S. lawyer, writer. Speech, 13 July 1925, Dayton, Tennessee, defending John T. Scopes on trial for teaching Darwinism.  

There is something Pagan in me that I cannot shake off. In short, I deny nothing, but doubt everything.
Lord Byron (1788–1824), English poet. Letter, 4 Dec. 1811 (published in Byron’s Letters and Journals, vol. 2, ed. by Leslie A. Marchand, 1973–81).
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Biohazard on July 31, 2008, 11:51:56 PM
I thinck the Calvin and Hobbes quote, reply #276, is the best so far.  ;D
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: stickman on July 31, 2008, 11:56:54 PM

(http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g259/reddragon8429/worldwithoutreligion.jpg)

Whoa!   This one's great!
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: PeterMcArthur on August 01, 2008, 02:14:21 AM
Lies, Damn Lies, and Pseudoscience.

I want to believe.  Show me evidence.  (with pics of Big Foot, Saucers, Crop Circles, etc...)

Got Methodological Naturalism?

(Anecdotes + Logical Fallacies) – Science = Magical Thinking

How can you know that you know what you know?  Science.
 
Skepticism, It's a way of life.

Skepticism - the unending search for Truth. 

Skepticism - Pulling the mask off the Bad Guy since 300 BCE

Don't be a Douche, be a Skeptic!

Ridicule the Ridiculous, Argue the rest.

Open minded people can believe anything; Skeptics can believe anything with good evidence.

Empiricists are sexy!

Science is Sexy!

Rebecca is Sexy!

(that was kinda cheap wasn't it? ha)

That's enough for now....







Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: alexbutterfield on August 29, 2008, 11:43:16 PM
What about a family tree design of all the primates including humans, but not prominently.

Or this would be funny: (nicked from the british sitcom Father Ted, about two priests who live on a little island off the coast of ireland)

The two priests Ted and Dougal are standing in conversation. Dougal's speech bubble says:

"We don't actually believe in God, do we Ted?"


Edit: Sorry but i just looked up some quotes from this show - i never really got into it, but the one above stuck out - but some of em are crackers.

Dougal: Sorry Ted. I was concentrating too hard on looking holy.

Dougal: God, Ted. D'you remember that feller who was so good at fashion they had to shoot him?

Dougal: God, I've heard about those cults Ted. People dressing up in black and saying Our Lord's going to come back and save us all.
Ted: No, Dougal, that's us. That's Catholicism.
Dougal: Oh right.

Ted: I'm not a fascist. I'm a priest. Fascists dress up in black and tell people what to do. Whereas priests...
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: 12minerva12 on September 03, 2008, 09:57:55 AM
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people who are afraid of asking questions and looking stupid.
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Zookster on September 03, 2008, 10:12:09 AM

(http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g259/reddragon8429/worldwithoutreligion.jpg)

Whoa!   This one's great!

That is what I thought, very powerful.
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: FlyLikeDaedalus on September 06, 2008, 10:15:06 AM
This is a personal favorite of mine:

"Advances are made by answering questions. Discoveries are made by
   questioning answers."   - Bernhard Haisch, astrophysicist


But I believe the one that most succinctly sums up the skeptical philosophy is this:

"What we need is not the will to believe but the will to find out."
                                          - Bertrand Russell
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Thomas Ardai on September 28, 2008, 04:49:47 AM
"Mundus vult decipi, ergo decipiatur" - The world wants to be
deceived, so let it be deceived

The saying is ascribed to Petronius, a Roman satirist from the first
century, CE.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mundus_vult_decipi,_ergo_decipiatur

--

"I didn't know that there are so many idiots, until I began using Internet."

"For moral reasons I am an atheist — for moral reasons. I am of the
opinion that you would recognize a creator by his creation, and the
world appears to me to be put together in such a painful way that I
prefer to believe that it was not created by anyone than to think that
somebody created this intentionally."

Stanisław Lem

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stanisław_Lem
http://moreview.com/content/dynamic/view_text.php?text_id=1299

--

"True myth may serve for thousands of years as an inexhaustible source
of intellectual speculation, religious joy, ethical inquiry, and
artistic renewal. The real mystery is not destroyed by reason. The
fake one is."


Ursula Le Guin

--

"When have you ever seen someone who had no doubts who was also
correct about anything?"


"The wise are not wise because they make no mistakes. They are wise
because they correct their mistakes as soon as they recognize them."

Orson Scott Card, Xenocide

--

"Science, my lad, has been built upon many errors; but they are errors
which it was good to fall into, for they led to the truth."

Jules Verne, Journey to the Center of the Earth

--

"There are two kinds of truth: the truth that lights the way and the
truth that warms the heart. The first of these is science, and the
second is art. Neither is independent of the other or more important
than the other... the truth of art keeps science from becoming
inhuman, and the truth of science keeps art from becoming ridiculous."

Raymond Chandler

--

Isaac Asimov

"People are entirely too disbelieving of coincidence. They are far too
ready to dismiss it and to build arcane structures of extremely
rickety substance in order to avoid it. I, on the other hand, see
coincidence everywhere as an inevitable consequence of the laws of
probability, according to which having no unusual coincidence is far
more unusual than any coincidence could possibly be."
The Planet that Wasn't

"Creationists make it sound as though a "theory" is something you
dreamt up after being drunk all night."

"I believe in evidence. I believe in observation, measurement, and
reasoning, confirmed by independent observers. I'll believe anything,
no matter how wild and ridiculous, if there is evidence for it. The
wilder and more ridiculous something is, however, the firmer and more
solid the evidence will have to be."

The Roving Mind

"How often people speak of art and science as though they were two
entirely different things, with no interconnection. An artist is
emotional, they think, and uses only his intuition; he sees all at
once and has no need of reason. A scientist is cold, they think, and
uses only his reason; he argues carefully step by step, and needs no
imagination. That is all wrong. The true artist is quite rational as
well as imaginative and knows what he is doing; if he does not, his
art suffers. The true scientist is quite imaginative as well as
rational, and sometimes leaps to solutions where reason can follow
only slowly; if he does not, his science suffers."
The Roving Mind

"If I am right, then (religious fundamentalists) will not go to
Heaven, because there is no Heaven. If they are right, then they will
not go to Heaven, because they are hypocrites."


"Properly read, the Bible is the most potent force for atheism ever conceived."

"A subtle thought that is in error may yet give rise to fruitful
inquiry that can establish truths of great value."

"The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new
discoveries, is not 'Eureka!', but 'That's funny ...'"


"If knowledge can create problems, it is not through ignorance that we
can solve them."


"Inspect every piece of pseudoscience and you will find a security
blanket, a thumb to suck, a skirt to hold. What does the scientist
have to offer in exchange? Uncertainty! Insecurity!"

"There is a single light of science, and to brighten it anywhere is to
brighten it everywhere."


--

Terry Pratchett

"As they say in Discworld, we are trying to unravel the Mighty
Infinite using a language which was designed to tell one another where
the fresh fruit was."

"The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will
insist on coming along and trying to put things in it."

Truckers
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: SkiCarver on October 04, 2008, 11:30:02 AM
I haven't read through the thread.

Never attribute to malice, that which is adequately explained by stupidity.  Robert J. Hanlon (Hanlons' Razor)

Call to god, but row away from the rocks.  Indian proverb.

Though our opinions change throughout our lives, our belief that we are correct never does.

I will have a search to find the 'owners' of the quotes and edit the post.
edited to add;  found attributions to the first two.

edited to add;

The more laws and order become prominant, the more thieves and robbers there will be.   Lao Tsu.
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: maydont on October 04, 2008, 01:13:59 PM
On a T-shirt: "Warning: Contains traces of nuts"
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: MonkeyGo on October 14, 2008, 09:51:48 AM
This is not very skeptical but I've always wanted a baby onesie  that said: "Jonathan Swift can bite me!" ;D
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: SkepticalCyclist on November 14, 2008, 06:39:12 PM
I've arrived a bit late for this thread and this quote is probably here already. I think it can be attributed to the Marx Brothers:

"If time and space are relative, why weren't they at my birthday party?"
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: AdinDraco on November 15, 2008, 07:12:51 AM
Terry Pratchett - "All religions are true, for a given value of true"

apologies if already quoted or if slightly misquoted...
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: SkiCarver on November 15, 2008, 04:16:53 PM
Got Methodological Naturalism?

Just had a good laugh about that one.  thanks!

There are some things which totally defy my understanding of what is 'funny', this is one.

(the fish slapping dance and "time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana." being two more examples)
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: gwen on November 22, 2008, 04:00:22 AM
I saw a great one that said 'Nerd 22 ever!
and....never argue with an idiot, they'll beat you with their experience!)
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: jhmiller0373 on November 25, 2008, 07:47:03 PM
My favourite is "keep your mind open, but not so open that the curtains are flapping in the breeze" My grandma.

Jeremy
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Garfunkle on December 01, 2008, 06:22:53 PM
(http://img293.imageshack.us/img293/5065/athiestswinningsk0.jpg) (http://imageshack.us)

Indeed.
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: SgtSkepper on December 02, 2008, 12:08:03 PM
Quote of the year and definitely deserving of merchandising from Brian Cox:

"Anyone who thinks the LHC will destroy the world is a twat."

Failing that:

"In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards." - Mark Twain
"For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing." - H.L. Mencken
"If you gave Falwell an enema, he could be buried in a matchbox." - Christopher Hitchens
"I have as much authority as the pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it." - George Carlin
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Esc on December 03, 2008, 01:33:53 PM
"Adults with imaginary friends are stupid."
By Anon

^A great one!

And then, some angry creationist explaining atheism to his audience. Just for fun^^

(http://i332.photobucket.com/albums/m347/Esq23/atheism.jpg)



Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: paulflip on December 19, 2008, 07:53:11 PM
I don't envy your decision Jay, you've got some really great stuff to weed through here.  Here's my current favorite (non-Jefferson) quote.

"Better to get hurt by the truth than comforted with a lie"

It's from Khaled Hosseini's The Kite Runner.  Amir's "Baba" (father) says it to him ;

-paulflip  ;)
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: pandamonium on December 20, 2008, 05:08:48 AM
"time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana."

this is the most brilliant thing i have ever seen.


(today.)
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: bthegoodwin on December 21, 2008, 11:29:04 PM
Some I stole and/or modified, and some originals:

- There are no stupid question, but there are a lot of inquisitive idiots.
- The only consistent feature between you and all your dysfunctional relationships is you.
- If you can't learn to do something well, you should learn to enjoy doing it poorly.
- No single raindrop believes it is responsible for the flood.
- True Believers: None of them is as dumb as all of them.
- When you earnestly believe you can compensate for a lack of skill by doubling your efforts, there's no end to what you can't do.
or modified for a skeptical audience:
- When you earnestly believe you can compensate for a lack of understanding by finding other ignorant people to agree with you, there's no end to what you can't know.
- Let's jump off that bridge when when we come to it.
or
- I'll burn that bridge when I come to it.
- That train wreck already left the station.
- If God had intended for us to walk around naked, we would have been born that way.
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: bthegoodwin on December 21, 2008, 11:37:02 PM
Oh I forgot. One for Rebecca:

WWJD
Who Would Jesus Do?
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: bthegoodwin on December 21, 2008, 11:57:19 PM
Ok. One more:

Post-rapture Pet Care Service
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: pantone204 on December 24, 2008, 01:26:39 PM
"Science is interesting; if you don't like it, you can fuck off."

-some editor at New Scientist Magazine

Hearing Dawkins quoting that is great.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_2xGIwQfik
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Morvis13 on December 24, 2008, 04:38:03 PM
(http://scarletwords.com/wp/images/2007/07/lolcat_bible.jpg)
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: mZex on December 31, 2008, 08:50:29 AM
Look, everybody, we're all looking for answer, you know. We all want to understand who we are and where we come from, but... sometimes we want to know the answers so badly that we... believe just about anything.

Stan Marsh: Colorado
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: jessiedark on January 02, 2009, 12:46:20 PM
Not a tenpercenter.

From the fact I like most skeptics use more than 10 percent of our brain.  I heard your podcast on the whole we only use 10 percent of our brain and I loved the idea that those idiots that believe are 10 percenters.  And proud of it.



Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: SkiCarver on January 11, 2009, 11:19:08 PM
"time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana."

this is the most brilliant thing i have ever seen.
(today.)

I was at work when i first read that (on an IBM fortune cookie program - a old mine of great quotes!).  It was said by Groucho Marx.

I was literally crying with laughter when I read it, much to the bemusement of my collegues!
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: IdahoBaird on January 20, 2009, 05:38:31 PM

“I try to avoid looking forward or backward, and try to keep looking upward.”

Charlotte Bronte

submitted by Daryl Baird (IdahoBaird). Last name pronounced like "bared" as in "I bared my soul."


Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: PTP on February 09, 2009, 12:10:03 AM
anyone do this yet?
;

W_W_D_D
what would Darwin do?

or

Evolution.
Don't knock it...
You've already tried it!

or

Dump god now
ask me how...

[peace out] :P
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Samuel L on March 27, 2009, 12:41:31 PM
"If the goddam Puritans knew how much work it was to be this decadent, we'd get more respect." - Conrad Hodson
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Opcn on March 27, 2009, 02:28:51 PM
"Science is interesting; if you don't like it, you can fuck off."

-some editor at New Scientist Magazine

Hearing Dawkins quoting that is great.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_2xGIwQfik

FYI I was rudely asked by a poster to take "Fuck" out of my signature, then politely asked by our admin, you might want to follow suit.
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Big Bird on March 30, 2009, 03:28:57 PM
I quite like


Quote
I met your God, and he was inebriated.

Bob Novella paraphrasing James Randi.

Originally for Scientologists, could be expanded.
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Black_Magic on April 18, 2009, 02:39:36 AM
I was watching a nova program on youtube (they do that now!) here (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y2jSv8PDDwA) about absolute zero.  They paraphrased James Dewar in what I think is a brilliant quote:

"The battlefields of science are the centers of a perpetual warfare in which there is no hope of a final victory. To serve in the scientific army, to have shown the initiative, is enough to satisfy the legitimate ambition of every earnest student of nature."



I did some digging to see if he actually said that, and here is the real quote, it's a little long :P (and more brilliant)

“In a legitimate sense all genuine scientific workers feel that they are the inheritors of unfulfilled renown. The battlefields of science are the centres of perpetual warfare in which there is no hope of final victory. But each generation can push the curtain of man’s ignorance a little bit further back. To serve in the scientific army, to have shown some initiative and to be rewarded by the consciousness that in the eyes of his comrades he bears the accredited accolade of successful endeavour is enough to satisfy the legitimate ambition of every earnest student of nature. The real warranty that the march of progress in the future will be as glorious as in the past lies in the perpetual reinforcement of the scientific ranks by recruits animated by such a spirit and proud to obtain such a reward.”
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: thejoeman on April 28, 2009, 09:10:09 PM
Well, i don't know it these have been done before, but
"lies, damn lies, and statistics"
"only her skepticism kept her from being an atheist.”
 Jean-Paul Sartre
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: scrubba on May 09, 2009, 01:52:01 AM
What about

I'm not always right but, after considering all the facts, I'm never wrong

or

If you cant prove it I dont want to hear it

or

Dumb people ignore the evidence
Stupid people make it up



Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: otisdeezer on May 09, 2009, 12:03:39 PM
Here's one about man vs God

he who is...does
He who wasn't...doesn't



Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: navelfluff on May 19, 2009, 08:29:42 PM
Slogan:
Skeptics - trying to make common sense common

T-shirt:
SKEPTIC FOR HIRE
Will abolish ghosts, evil spirits and psychic powers using negative skeptic aura (AKA science and common sense)
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Beep Boop Boop on June 13, 2009, 07:25:42 PM
Does my mother count? 
If you really wanted to learn more all you had to do was remain serious and ask the person some questions.  Then you quietly leave and then break down in laughter.-In reference to the Bigfoot store
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Vern on June 20, 2009, 10:18:52 AM
Intelligent Design:  A gallant attempt at undermining science by resorting to absurdity. Championed by cdesign proponentsists at the Dishonesty Institute.
Hey. We all make mistakes.
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: tony atkinson on June 23, 2009, 08:57:31 PM
Dr Christopher Riche Evans (1931 – 10 October 1979), psychologist and author

"if the motor car had evolved as fast as the computer, and over the same time period, "Today you would be able to buy a Rolls-Royce for £35, it would do three million miles to the gallon, and it would deliver enough power to drive the QE2 And if you were interested in miniaturisation, you could place half a dozen of them on a pinhead."
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Shelley on July 18, 2009, 11:07:57 AM
I can't remember where I heard this one, so I don't have a source, but I've always loved it:

"Statistics are like condoms. No one really likes to use them, but nobody will do science with you if you don't."
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: PhilPhil on July 29, 2009, 11:06:58 AM
Here's one authored by me, inspired by religious people I know.

There is no mind as sick as the righteous, because they see evil in everything but themselves.
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: stands2reason on July 31, 2009, 12:09:47 AM
Perhaps some Douglas Adams quotes are in order...

"It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes."

"If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family anatidae on our hands."

"Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?"

"There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.There is another theory which states that this has already happened."
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Yarbo on August 10, 2009, 10:44:17 AM
Feeling better is not the same as being better.

James Randi
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Skeptic Bilby... on August 12, 2009, 04:34:00 AM
How about... "Bullshit Baffles Brains"???? Thats what my mother used to say to me when I asked why people were telling BS....
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: runnah on August 27, 2009, 03:52:25 PM
Question Everything!
(except for this)
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Batmaz on September 22, 2009, 05:50:52 AM
Question Everything!
(except for this)
;D

As it says in my signature:
"You don't like it, go somewhere else. Another universe, where the rules are simpler."
[Richard Feynman]
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: stands2reason on September 22, 2009, 04:30:53 PM
So, did anyone win?
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: drywhitewhine on September 24, 2009, 05:53:17 PM
We all win.  In the human race, just to get to compete is surely a prize beyond measure.
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Jenni on September 28, 2009, 07:43:53 PM
On the subject of Douglas Adams quotes how about

'the guide is definitive, reality is frequently inaccurate'

... or not
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Ack on October 05, 2009, 09:23:53 AM
I wont think in your church if you don't pray in our schools.
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Draquakon on November 25, 2009, 06:27:22 AM
"Don't let worries kill you, let the church help"
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Qually on November 29, 2009, 04:57:04 AM
Science is a way of thinking much more than it is a body of knowledge - Carl Sagan, Broca's Brain.
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Primate on December 04, 2009, 01:23:00 AM
"There are only two means by which men can deal with one another: guns or logic. Force or persuasion. Those who know that they cannot win by means of logic, have always resorted to guns."
-Ayn Rand

"I am, therefore I'll think"
-Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

"From the wheel to the skyscraper, everything we are and everything we have comes from a single attribute of man - the function of his reasoning mind"
-Ayn Rand
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: jeem on December 04, 2009, 09:26:02 AM
I've always loved this one.  Is it proper to ellipses-ize it to focus on science issues only?
Quote
What I believed in the Sixties: Everything. You name it and I believed it. I believed love was all you need. I believed you should be here now. I believed drugs could make everyone a better person. I believed I could hitchhike to California with thirty-five cents and people would be glad to feed me. I believed Mao was cute. I believed private property was wrong. I believed my girlfriend was a witch. I believed the university was putting saltpeter in the cafeteria food. I believed stones had souls. I believed my parents were Nazi space monsters. I believed stones had souls. I believed the NLF were the good guys in Vietnam. I believed Lyndon Johnson was plotting to murder all the Negroes. I believed Yoko Ono was an artist. I believed Bob Dylan was a musician. I believed I would live forever or until twenty-one, whichever came first. I believed the world was about to end. I believed the Age of Aquarius was about to happen. I believed the "I Ching" said to cut classes and take over the dean's office. I believed wearing my hair long would end poverty and injustice. I believed there was a great throbbing web of psychic mucus and we were all part of it somehow. I managed to believe Gandhi and H. Rap Brown at the same time. With the exception of anything my mom and dad said, I believed everything. What I believe now: Nothing. Well, nothing much, I mean. I believe things that can be proven by reason and by experiment, and, believe you me, I want to see the logic and the lab equipment. I believe that Western civilization, after some disgusting glitches, has become almost civilized. I believe it is our first duty to protect that civilization. I believe it is our second duty to improve it. I believe it is our third duty to extend it if we can. But let's be careful about that last point. Not everybody is ready to be civilized. I wasn't in 1969.

--P. J. O'Rourke

Shorter version could be:

Quote
What I believed in the Sixties: Everything. You name it and I believed it. I believed love was all you need. I believed you should be here now. I believed drugs could make everyone a better person. ... I believed my girlfriend was a witch. I believed the university was putting saltpeter in the cafeteria food. I believed stones had souls. I believed my parents were Nazi space monsters. ... I believed the world was about to end. I believed the Age of Aquarius was about to happen. I believed the "I Ching" said to cut classes and take over the dean's office. I believed wearing my hair long would end poverty and injustice. I believed there was a great throbbing web of psychic mucus and we were all part of it somehow. .... With the exception of anything my mom and dad said, I believed everything. What I believe now: Nothing. Well, nothing much, I mean. I believe things that can be proven by reason and by experiment, and, believe you me, I want to see the logic and the lab equipment. 

--P. J. O'Rourke


 
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: GWBBQ on December 17, 2009, 03:42:08 PM
"The plural of anecdote is not data"
Frank Kotsonis
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: nocturnous on December 30, 2009, 03:09:14 AM
"What can be asserted without proof can be dismissed without proof."-Christopher Hitchens



Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: FunkyFredFrog on January 14, 2010, 04:00:32 PM
Arguing with children can be like playing poker with a novice, you never read what they'd do next until it was too late and they got you good!

Funkyfredfrog 2010
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: TZUNAM1 on January 31, 2010, 12:23:55 AM
"We live on an island surrounded by a sea of ignorance. As our island of knowledge grows, so does the shore of our ignorance."
 - John A. Wheeler, coiner of the phrase "black hole"
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: youtubeislife on February 06, 2010, 10:59:25 PM
Don't think outside the box, think inside a different box.
-George Grell
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Hampster on February 10, 2010, 02:11:09 AM
If 50 million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.
- Anatole France
Quote


I thought that B. Russell
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Hampster on February 10, 2010, 02:30:17 AM
I've alot, but not a lot of names here  I apologize for any repeats.

The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.   
--Niels Bohr


Churchill's Commentary on Man:
        Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
        but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.

Christ died for our sins, so let's not disappoint Him.
      --????

You have not converted someone merely because you've silenced them?! (John Morely)


While most peoples' opinions change, the conviction of their correctness never does.


Some people need a good imaginary cure for their painful imaginary ailment.



The plural of anecdote is not data.


Green's Law of Debate:
        Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about.


"When people are least sure, they are often most dogmatic."
-- John Kenneth Galbraith


"If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?"
 -- Albert Einstein

"Anything created must necessarily be inferior to the essence of the creator."
                -- Claude Shouse
"Einstein's mother must have been one heck of a physicist."
                -- Joseph C. Wang

Evolutionists have proof without any certainty.
Creationists have certainty without any proof.


Unfortunately what is little recognized is that the most worthwhile scientific books are those in which the author clearly indicates what he does not know; for an author most hurts his readers by concealing difficulties.
--Evariste Galois


It's YOUR god.
They're YOUR rules.
YOU go to hell.


 “You're basically killing each other to see who's got the better imaginary friend.”
 - Yasir Arrafat (On going to war over religion)
[I sincerely hope he really said this.]


The day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the Supreme Being as his Father, in the womb of a virgin will be classified with the fable of the generation of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter.  But we may hope that the dawn of reason and freedom of thought in these United States will do away with this artificial scaffolding and restore to us the primitive and genuine doctrines of this most venerated Reformer of human errors.
- Thomas Jefferson


"I would much rather live in a world where I am surrounded by mystery,  than in a world so small my mind could fully comprehend it." (H.E. Fosdick)

Where it is a duty to worship the sun it is pretty sure to be a crime to examine the laws of heat.
                -- Christopher Morley


True research is like fumbling in the dark for the right switches.
Once you've turned the light on everyone can see..........
 - unknown


Morality is doing what it right no matter what you are told.
Religion is doing what you are told no matter what is right.


"The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts."
 -- Bertrand Russell


At the heart of science is an essential tension between two seemingly contradictory attitudes -- an openness to new ideas, no matter how bizarre or counterintuitive they may be, and the most ruthless skeptical scrutiny of all ideas, old and new.  This is how deep truths are winnowed from deep nonsense.  Of course, scientists make mistakes in trying to understand the world, but there is a built-in error-correcting mechanism:  The collective enterprise of creative thinking and skeptical thinking together keeps the field on track.
                -- Carl Sagan, "The Fine Art of Baloney Detection"


A priest advised Voltaire on his death bed to renounce the devil.
Replied Voltaire, "This is no time to make new enemies."


    Don't you believe in flying saucers, they ask me? Don't you believe in telepathy? — in ancient astronauts? — in the Bermuda triangle? — in life after death?
    No, I reply. No, no, no, no, and again no.
    One person recently, goaded into desperation by the litany of unrelieved negation, burst out "Don't you believe in anything?"
    "Yes", I said. "I believe in evidence. I believe in observation, measurement, and reasoning, confirmed by independent observers. I'll believe anything, no matter how wild and ridiculous, if there is evidence for it. The wilder and more ridiculous something is, however, the firmer and more solid the evidence will have to be."
--Isaac Asimov


"Inquiry is fatal to certainty."
               -- Will Durant


An atheist is a man with no invisible means of support.


Religions find miracles in gods
Scientists find miracles everywhere


Skeptic: A person with faith in doubt and doubt in faith.

WARNING: Opinion subject to change as new evidence emerges. 

I refuse to have a battle of intellect with someone who is unarmed.
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Morvis13 on February 10, 2010, 07:57:39 AM
"Religion is a species of mental disease. It has always had a pathological reaction on mankind."

"The God of the theologians is the creation of their empty heads"

"Science is now in the process of destroying religious dogma. The dogma of the divine creation is recognized as absurd."

(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Forensic N7 on February 27, 2010, 09:54:09 PM
There's real poetry in the real world... Science is the poetry of reality -  Richard Dawkins.
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Johnny Slick on March 16, 2010, 03:01:31 AM
"Let's face it, guys. Skepticism is cool and all but do you know what homeopathy is? That's where you put like a baby into a reservoir of water and that makes anyone who drinks that water infertile. No, I don't know if you have to drown the baby. Maybe you just have to cut it and sprinkle a little bit of baby blood in there. Anyway. Scientific facts or not, that is true because of the rule of awesome."

- Isaac Newton
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: stands2reason on March 16, 2010, 07:12:22 AM
Homeopathy wasn't invented until the 1820s or so. Can that quote be accurate?
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: 5thApe on March 16, 2010, 05:07:42 PM
'You can't reason someone out of an opinion, that they didn't reason themselves into, in the first place' - Dr Steven Novella

'Don't confuse them with the facts' - Dr Steven Novella



Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Pak on March 26, 2010, 08:29:16 AM
Peter Medawar quote via Richard Dawkins 'Greatest Show on Earth'

“the spread of secondary and latterly of tertiary education has created a large population of people, often with well-developed literary and scholarly tastes, who have been educated far beyond their capacity to undertake analytical thought”.
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: maydont on April 07, 2010, 07:19:52 AM
Here are some good ones:

"The way to see by faith is to shut the eye of reason." Benjamin Franklin

"Scepticism . . . is the agent of truth." Joseph Conrad (author – Heart of Darkness)

"I wish to propose for the reader's favourable consideration a doctrine which may, I fear, appear wildly paradoxical and subversive. The doctrine in question is this: that it is undesirable to believe a proposition when there is no ground whatever for supposing it true." – Bertrand Russell

"A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education and social ties and needs; no religious basis is necessary. Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear of punishment and hope of reward after death." Albert Einstein

"No country or people who are slaves to dogma and dogmatic mentality can progress." Jawaharal Nehru – prime minister of India

"The cradle rocks above an abyss, and common sense tells us that our existence is but a brief crack of light between two eternities of darkness." – Vladimir Nabokov (Russian writer)

"I don't like stories, things I can't prove." – Barry White (the singer)

"If we believe absurdities, we shall commit atrocities." – Voltaire (French philosopher)

Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: ThorGoLucky on April 09, 2010, 01:56:08 PM
The popular saying is that seeing is believing, though I have been told that I must believe to see, and I replied that seeing is not necessarily truth.

Ja, that's wordy and not very catchy but an actual experience that I had, inspired by David Deutsch: "The truth consists of hard-to-vary assertions about reality."
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: maydont on April 25, 2010, 03:33:29 PM
"Those of little faith are of little hatred." - Eric Hoffer (American philosopher and dock worker)
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Swedish_Soul on April 30, 2010, 07:13:32 AM
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe." - Albert Einstein
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: woodle on May 07, 2010, 08:21:53 AM
"I think I think therefore I think I am" - Dehorse
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Xochiquetzal on May 11, 2010, 01:27:19 AM
“Silence is argument carried out by other means.” ~  Ernesto 'Che' Guevara ~
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Chew on May 11, 2010, 11:17:59 PM
"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt. "

-Abraham Lincoln
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Xochiquetzal on May 12, 2010, 03:25:16 PM
"Equipped with his five senses, man explores the universe around him and calls the adventure Science."  ~Edwin Powell Hubble, The Nature of Science, 1954 ~
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: daveexperiment on May 13, 2010, 03:46:43 AM
Don't pray in my school and i wont think in you're church
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: maxnuggets on May 18, 2010, 03:29:58 PM
Dunno if you're still running the quotes thing or not but here are some of my favourites, they may not be skeptacular enough for the show though:

"Science is the record of dead religions"
- Oscar Wilde

"I'm wrong all the time. That's how I eventually get to right"
- Gil Grissom (CSI:Las Vegas)

"If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts; but if he will be content to begin with doubts he shall end in certainties."
- Francis Bacon, from "The Advancement Of Learning"

Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: daveexperiment on May 20, 2010, 12:49:00 AM
"Don't pray pray in my School, and I wont think in your Church" - Unknown
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Random on May 20, 2010, 06:50:36 PM
"It takes two people to be an idiot. The first to be the idiot, the second to realize it."
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Aweirdly on May 26, 2010, 04:59:34 PM
FACTS: The New Truth
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Boss Burrill on May 30, 2010, 11:19:59 PM
If God dwells inside us like some people say....I sure hope he likes enchiladas, cuz thats what he's getting.
~Jack Handy

...i can tell the differnce between video games and reality. but T.V. and video games are so much more fun~phillip fry

For those who believe in God, most of the big questions are answered. But for those of us who can't readily accept the God formula, the big answers don't remain stone-written. We adjust to new conditions and discoveries. We are pliable. Love need not be a command or faith a dictum. I am my own God. We are here to unlearn the teachings of the church, state, and our educational system. We are here to drink beer. We are here to kill war. We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us.
~charles bukowski

God favors no group. Only religions do that.
~unknown

The so called "normal" is only determined the the majority of society, 700 years ago if you said the earth was round, we travel around the sun, and we are made up of small things called atoms that can never be seen. you would be locked in stocks and beaten.~ me

Gods are fragile things; they may be killed by a whiff of science or a dose of common sense. ~Chapmen cohen

Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Ducktoes on June 02, 2010, 01:19:06 PM
"The big trouble with dumb bastards is that they are too dumb to know there is such a thing as being smart."

~Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: RobotADay on June 14, 2010, 08:01:48 AM
"The very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common. Instead of altering their views to fit the facts, they alter the facts to fit their views... which can be very uncomfortable if you happen to be one of the facts that needs altering."

— Doctor Who
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: jwray on June 24, 2010, 10:39:22 AM
Some Robert Green Ingersoll quotes:

The man who does not do his own thinking is a slave, and is a traitor to himself and to his fellow-men.
-- Robert Green Ingersoll, "The Liberty of Man, Woman and Child"

Who can over estimate the progress of the world if all the money wasted in superstition could be used to enlighten, elevate and civilize mankind?
-- Robert Green Ingersoll, "Some Mistakes of Moses"

I admit that reason is a small and feeble flame, a flickering torch by stumblers carried in the star-less night, -- blown and flared by passion's storm, -- and yet, it is the only light. Extinguish that, and nought remains.
-- Robert Green Ingersoll, sentiments later echoed by Albert Einstein ("One thing I have learned in a long life: that all our science, measured against reality, is primitive and childlike -- and yet it is the most precious thing we have."), from the Field-Ingersoll Debate (Part 2): "A Reply To The Rev Henry M Field, DD"

We have already compared the benefits of theology and science. When the theologian governed the world, it was covered with huts and hovels for the many, palaces and cathedrals for the few. To nearly all the children of men, reading and writing were unknown arts. The poor were clad in rags and skins -- they devoured crusts, and gnawed bones. The day of Science dawned, and the luxuries of a century ago are the necessities of to-day. Men in the middle ranks of life have more of the conveniences and elegancies than the princes and kings of the theological times. But above and over all this, is the development of mind. There is more of value in the brain of an average man of to-day -- of a master-mechanic, of a chemist, of a naturalist, of an inventor, than there was in the brain of the world four hundred years ago.
     These blessings did not fall from the skies. These benefits did not drop from the outstretched hands of priests. They were not found in cathedrals or behind altars -- neither were they searched for with holy candles. They were not discovered by the closed eyes of prayer, nor did they come in answer to superstitious supplication. They are the children of freedom, the gifts of reason, observation and experience -- and for them all, man is indebted to man.
-- Robert Green Ingersoll, "God In The Constitution"

The mechanic, when a wheel refuses to turn, never thinks of dropping on his knees and asking the assistance of some divine power. He knows there is a reason. He knows that something is too large or too small; that there is something wrong with his machine; and he goes to work and he makes it larger or smaller, here or there, until the wheel will turn.
-- Robert Green Ingersoll, "The Liberty Of All" (1877)

Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: DejaBrew on July 03, 2010, 06:25:15 PM
"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro."

Hunter S. Thompson
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: wotchootalkinboutwillis on July 07, 2010, 03:50:13 AM
“Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.”

 Seneca
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Shibboleth on July 26, 2010, 03:56:53 PM
I find it odd that skepticism, on the main, is the art of ignoring the instincts that that have been instilled in us through natural selection such as equating correlation with causation.
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: lumpcouch on August 05, 2010, 06:15:10 PM
"And what would? What would?

But with well in the lead with him in a minute.

But what happens when let me?

I said, 'Well then we're going live with.'

It wouldn't have mattered ranch.

The ad opens with a dwindling,

but go ahead with the referendum." -Beatboxing Dog

audio transcription on youtube is pretty interesting.
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: AustralopithecusAfarensis on August 06, 2010, 03:47:53 AM
“I maintain there is much more wonder in science than in pseudoscience. And in addition, to whatever measure this term has any meaning, science has the additional virtue, and it is not an inconsiderable one, of being true.” - Carl Sagan

"There are many hypotheses in science which are wrong. That's perfectly all right; they're the aperture to finding out what's right. Science is a self-correcting process. To be accepted, new ideas must survive the most rigorous standards of evidence and scrutiny.” - Carl Sagan

“If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.” - Carl Sagan

Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Zytheran on August 06, 2010, 04:33:17 AM
Never  underestimate human incompetence.
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Anders on August 09, 2010, 04:22:09 PM
There's no such thing as the unknown, only things temporarily hidden, temporarily not understood."

James T. Kirk
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Atheist Panda on August 10, 2010, 06:23:20 AM
In the beginning there was nothing, then God said "LET THERE BE LIGHT!". And there was still nothing, but now you could see it..... - Groucho Marx
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: bgolder on August 13, 2010, 03:31:07 PM
Gravity doesn't exist the earth just sucks
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: stands2reason on August 13, 2010, 08:45:54 PM
Gravity doesn't exist the earth just sucks

:rimshot:
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Freed_by_Reason on August 27, 2010, 10:19:44 AM
"I know, just KNOW, that the answer to question #23 on my next History test is B, and not even seeing the answer sheet read C will change my mind.  If it gets marked wrong, then, I guess the teacher has lived in ignorance all these years.  I don't even have to open my History book, because I'm blessed with divine council on the matter."  :worship:

I came up with this one  :D
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Hampster on September 02, 2010, 03:36:51 PM

The so called "normal" is only determined the the majority of society, 700 years ago if you said the earth was round, we travel around the sun, and we are made up of small things called atoms that can never be seen. you would be locked in stocks and beaten.~ me


Except very, very few people throughout history actually believed in a flat earth.  There is even a hint that some ancient Greek philosophers figured out that we traveled about the sun.  (Archimedes scoffed at this idea, but the source of this idea is lost......)

--Dave
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Virtuoso on September 20, 2010, 10:04:38 PM
I know I heard a quote about "animalcules" on one of the podcasts in the past...but this quote was on the first page of my Biology book for the chapter on Cell Structure and Function, and I don't think the context was alluded to in the quote previously used.


--

The Dutch shopkeeper Antoni van Leeuwenhoek (1632-1723) may have been the first person to see living cells.  Using a microscope he built himself, he looked at everything possible, including his own stool.  He wrote,

"I have usually of a morning a well-formed stool.  But, hitherto, I have had sometimes a looseness of bowels, so I went to stool some twice, thrice, or four times a day.  My excrement being so thin, I was at diverse times constrained to examine it.  Wherein I have sometimes seen animalcules a moving prettily.  Their bodies were somewhat  longer than broad, and the belly, which was flat-lie, furnished with sundry little paws..."  November 9, 1681.

In this way, Antoni van Leeuwenhoek reported seeing the parasite Giardia lamblia in his feces. 

--

This is from pg. 59 of the text, "Biology" by Sylvia S. Mader, tenth edition.
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: fly44d on September 25, 2010, 07:58:31 PM
A couple,

Philip Pullman:  "Nobody has the right to not be offended."

??:  "Relieve and prevent suffering, give pleasure."
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: dirtytaters on September 30, 2010, 05:24:55 PM
I'm hoping this one hasn't been said already:

"Creationists make it sound as though a 'theory' is something you dreamt up after being drunk all night."
— Isaac Asimov
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: jcwx86 on October 01, 2010, 08:46:02 AM
"Don't look for the light at the end of the tunnel, stomp along there and turn it on yourself!"
Sarah Millican, British comedian.
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Oh_Really on October 01, 2010, 04:55:13 PM
A couple of my favorites:

We tend to idealize tolerance, then wonder why we find ourselves infested with losers and nut cases.
        -- Patrick Nielsen Hayden

A slightly more awkward version of the following was already posted, but I think this one is more to the point.  --

Man has but little reason, at best; but this little should be used. No matter how small the taper is, how feeble the ray of light it casts, it is better than darkness, and no man should be rewarded for extinguishing the light he has.
    - Robert Green Ingersoll



Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: NikkaYoichi on November 20, 2010, 04:48:04 AM
My favorites would have to be:
"Cogito, ergo deus non est."
"This is best evidence I've ever seen for the absence of a God."
"Too stupid to understand science? Try religion!"
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: leonardo on November 23, 2010, 01:15:57 AM
"To infinity and beyond..."
-Buzz Lightyear

"Never underestimate the predictability of stupidity."
- Bullet Toothed Tony

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
-Edmund Burke

Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: madjockmcferson on December 01, 2010, 06:00:22 PM
I don't believe in magic cos life is automatic
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Open mind on December 02, 2010, 11:08:56 AM
Hold fast to your convictions but remain open-minded.  Tomorrow you may discover conclusive evidence that yesterday's conclusion was incorrect.

Voltaire, paraphrased from memory.
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Johnny Slick on December 02, 2010, 03:26:01 PM
"Hallo, guvna!" - Dick van Dyke
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Nat 20 on December 04, 2010, 05:56:58 PM
"The universe is a big place, perhaps the biggest."
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: Ursula on December 06, 2010, 10:33:29 AM
Losing an illusion makes you wiser than finding a truth.  ~Ludwig Börne
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: maydont on July 06, 2011, 06:55:34 AM
“No culture in the history of the world, save the thoroughly depraved and expiring ones, has failed to affirm the existence of a Supreme Being. It is an empirical observation that men without a strong and lasting faith in a Supreme Being are less capable, less ethical and less valuable to themselves and society....A man without an abiding faith is, by observation alone, more of a thing than a man.”

- L Ron Hubbard

...douchebag
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: ufo on November 28, 2011, 02:29:59 PM
I didn't do it, Nobody saw me do it, you can't prove a thing!  - Bart Simpson


oh.. is the contest over?  :)
Title: Re: SKEPTICS GUIDE CONTEST!!!
Post by: swiney396 on December 04, 2011, 05:09:46 PM
Do you have any skeptically minded sayings or quotes that you think are really funny and or witty?  Post them here and on an upcoming show we will pick one or more of your submissions and award the winner with something...I don’t know...maybe a date with Rebecca or a meat based meal with Perry. 

Why are we doing this??  Because we want to put the best of your entries on merchandise like hats, shirts, mugs, laser guns, robots...well maybe not mugs but you get the idea.  If your entry gets selected you will also be so much cooler than everyone else here on the board so enter now...enter often.